


Ten Tonne Skeleton

by PunkRock13



Category: Professional Wrestling, WWE
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, WWE - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:05:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 44,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5977831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkRock13/pseuds/PunkRock13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean just wanted to be like the other wrestlers. However, there was one tiny problem. He was infatuated with the feeling of hurting himself.</p><p>Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins<br/>Dean Ambrose/AJ Styles</p><p>Also on Wattpad</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ten Tonne Skeleton - Part 1

This chapter is quite short, but it's just an introduction to the characters so expect longer chapters in future uploads!

Seth doesn't get injured in this until a few chapters in. I wanted to fit it in with the story line. Also from Part 4 on wards I will be writing about the matches that take place irl so there will be spoilers! Enjoy and thanks for reading! :) 

Set after the Shield broke up. 3rd person POV.

__________

Dean stared at the food in front of him and thought about what Roman had mentioned to him earlier today. He'd never really thought about it like that before. Did he really look that much bigger since last year? Maybe that's why everyone keeps giving him strange looks in the locker room.

He had always wondered why people tended to stay away from him and now he knew why. They were embarrassed. Dean didn't realize how much weight he had put on. He chucked his food in the trash can and made his way down to the trainers office.

"Hey Dean, what can I do for ya?" Nick, the trainer smiled.

"Hey, just wondering if I could use your scales." Dean asked sheepishly, slowly walking further into the room.

"Sure." Nick answered, gesturing his hand towards the scales before sitting down at his desk and going through some paper work.

Dean took his shoes and jacket off and then stepped on the scale. 225 lbs. 16.07 stone. Dean had some serious weight to lose.

"Thanks Doc." He shouted as he ran out the room, carrying his shoes instead of putting them back on. He had 2 hours until Smackdown began. More than enough time to go to the gym.

__________

After spending an hour and a half at the gym he felt exhausted, but he knew he had a big match tonight. He was teaming up with Roman to fight against Rusev and Albero Del Rio. The match was scheduled to go on for 20 minutes so he had to get his head together.

"20 minutes and then I can go to the hotel and go to bed." Dean whispered to himself as he walked towards the gorilla where Roman was waiting for him.

"Sup dude?" Roman asked as Dean approached him.

"Not much, just tired." Dean replied.

"Me too bud, I'm sure this match will fire you up though." Roman smiled as his music started to play. "Let's get um Deany boy." The pair fist pumped each other before walking out to face the crowd.

__________

Dean awoke the next day on the couch in his hotel room. He didn't remember much about how he got there, but he remembered arguing with Roman about how Dean messed up the match.

Looking at the clock on his phone he realized that he still had 3 hours until he needed to get up, so he made his way to the bed and fell into a much needed sleep.

Dean awoke once again to the sound of his alarm. He was supposed to meet up with Seth and Roman at the gym in an hour. Most people thought that Seth and Dean hated each others guts after the break up of the Shield, but those people also didn't realize that it was just a story line. They're still the best of friends.

The still half asleep man stumbled out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a look at himself in the mirror. What he saw wasn't very satisfying. He had spots covering his face and some traveled down his neck. This was all thanks to his acne. He thought he had gotten rid of it years ago but maybe he was wrong. His skin was paler than usual and his cheeks seemed to look chubbier than they were yesterday. Dean sighed and headed to the kitchen to look through the cupboards. He saw two sashays of oatmeal and a pack of cheese and onion crisps. He decided to skip breakfast.

An hour later he arrived at the gym and met up with Seth. Roman cancelled last minute as he remembered that he had a doctors appointment.

Seth greeted Dean with a smile and a manly hug. They made their way into the gym and started to stretch.

"So, what have you been up to?" Seth asked grabbing some dung bells.

"Not much." Dean sighed. "Just work and stuff."

"You alright man?" Seth looked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine just tired." Dean smiled in order to make the statement believable. "I'm gonna head over to the treadmill, you?"

"Yeah, let's do that."

Dean was 30 minutes into his workout when he started to feel light headed. He had to stop the treadmill and sit on the floor. Seth came over immediately to see what was wrong.

"Hey dude, you alright?" Seth asked.

"Yeah just overdid it a bit." Dean gasped, trying to catch his breath.

"Alright, you stay there I'm gonna go get you some water." Seth smiled heading towards the vending machine. When he came back Dean gave him a 'thanks' and drank half of the bottle. "We should probably get going to the arena, you feeling any better?" Seth offered Dean a hand so he could stand up.

"Yeah, I'm good." Dean replied still a little dizzy.


	2. Thrown off balance - Part 2

Seth was currently sat in the locker room, tying the laces on his ring boots and thinking about how strange Ambrose was acting earlier today. As soon as Dean arrived at the gym this morning Seth could tell something was off. He looked tired for sure but being Dean's best friend Seth knew that there was something else going on in the mind of the Lunatic Fringe.

Seth didn't know how to approach Dean about the situation. He had a feeling that maybe Dean was just feeling a bit self-conscious about his acne that had started to come back. Seth had never seen Dean's face covered in spots before, but he knew from previous conversations with his friend that he used to get it quite bad. He decided that once the live show had finished he would have a word with Dean.

He saw Roman in catering and decided to talk to him about Dean's recent behavior. Roman had always been close with Dean, but Dean preferred Seth.

"Hey Rome." Seth said as he sat down next to the Samoan.

"Hey Bud, how're you?" Roman asked Seth with a mouth full of buttered corn.

"I'm good, I was just wondering if you knew what was up with Dean. He seemed a little off today." Seth mentioned, stealing some of Roman's fries.

"I dunno man I haven't spoke to him since yesterday. He's probably just pissed at himself for messing up the match last night. You know what he's like." 

"Yeah your right. Anyway I gotta get to my match. Wish me luck brotha." Seth said walking away.

"Good Luck!" Roman shouted after him.

__________

The match went well for Seth. He somehow managed to forget about all of his previous worries once he stepped into the ring, but once he got back to the locker rooms he remembered that he needed to talk to Dean. He found him round the back of the arena smoking a cigarette.

"Deany boy, I thought you were over the addiction man." Seth laughed, patting Dean on the shoulder.

"Yeah, me too." Dean sighed, blowing out more smoke.

"So, I just wanted to check on you. You seemed out of it this morning." Seth smiled.

"I'm good man just tired, sorry bout this morning." Dean answered leaning against the wall.

"It's no problem man, but are you sure you're okay?" Seth asked, concerned at the look on Dean's face.

"Yeah I'm fine dude. Just feeling a bit sick out and I got these fucking spots pissing me off." Dean scowled gestured towards his face.

"Ah don't worry about it man, they're hardy noticeable. You're probably just stressed." Seth said trying to cheer up the saddened man.

"Yeah, thanks Seth. I can always count on you to cheer me up." Dean smiled a genuine smile and then gave Seth a small hug before heading back inside to the locker room.

Dean was in pain to say the least when he arrived at his hotel room. He hadn't eaten anything for two days and it was really starting to take a tole on his body. He felt physically and emotionally drained and it had only been two days. How was he s'pose to keep this up for a few weeks? Is that how long he was doing it for? He really hadn't planned this out.

Dean knew that if he was going to keep this up then he would need some inspiration. He went on line and saved a load of depressing quotes on his phone, so every time he thought about eating food he would look at these quotes and instantly be put off. Some of the quotes he saved said things like:

'Hunger hurts but starving works'

'Sorry I'm so hard to deal with sometimes'

'You're fat, you're ugly stop eating'

He felt like these would help, but for some strange reason he felt as though he didn't need them. The thought of finally being skinny excited him and he was willing to do anything to get to a normal size. He made a month plan. For the entire month of February he would not touch a single piece of food, except fruit because that had no calories, and he would work out at the gym for at least two hours a day.

He wanted to loose 6 stone and 7 lbs. That would make him 140 lbs.

Dean decided that it would be a good idea to go to bed as he needed a way to ignore the urge to eat and he was also extremely exhausted. He got into bed and fell into a deep sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

Seth on the other hand was on the other side of the hotel eating a Pot Noodle and stressing about his friend. Dean had said that he was okay, but Seth couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to the situation.

He remembers once when he was in high school back in Iowa, a friend of his became really distant from everyone and ended up attempting suicide. Luckily he didn't die and was given the help he needed to get better and become happy again, but Seth knew that something like that took years to happen and if you didn't get the help you needed then... Seth didn't want to think about what might happen to Dean. The thought of losing his best friend brought a tear to his eye.

He decided to suck it up and tell himself that he was over reacting. Dean was probably just having a bad day. Like he said, he felt sick that's all. Nothing serious. Seth hoped.

__________

Dean awoke on the Thursday to the sound of his alarm. Today was his day off work, but he wanted to make sure he got to the gym nice and early so there would be less people there. He got dressed in his gym clothes, brushed his teeth and grabbed his gym bag before heading out the door, not giving himself time to think about food.

On Thursdays most superstars and divas head home to see their families, but Dean doesn't have a family and he also doesn't have a home. WWE pay for all the wrestlers to stay at a hotel when they're going from state to state as there is a lot of travelling involved in the job. When they found out that Dean didn't have a house to himself they offered to pay for the extra day and night in the hotel and Dean gladly accepted. 

Ambrose had been at the gym for an hour when he got a text from Seth asking if he wanted to meet up. Dean text him saying he was at the gym and Seth was more than welcome to join him. He enjoyed the younger mans company.

Seth arrived at the gym 10 minutes after Dean text him. The two of them worked out together for an hour and then headed back to the hotel. 

Seth usually went home to Iowa on Thursdays to visit his mum, but he decided late last night that he would stay with Dean and make sure he was okay. His mother was fine with the cancellation and told him to ring her Sunday night.

The two men were currently sat on Seth's hotel sofa watching Wrestle Mania 30. The match they were in on this paper view was The Shield vs The New Age Outlaws and Kane. Dean couldn't help but point out his flaws to himself. In this match he looked very heavy footed. He wondered if he still did that in the ring. Maybe he did it all the time but didn't notice.

Once the match was over Dean's stomach made a loud grumble.

"Whoa dude, you hungry?" Seth laughed pausing the TV.

"Nah, just got a stomach ache." Dean made the stupidest excuse. Luckily for him Seth bought it.

"Do you want a hot water bottle to put on your stomach. That's what I do when I get a stomach ache. It helps a lot." Seth smiled, sympathetically.

"Um only if you don't mind." Dean looked at the floor shyly.

"Of course not. You get comfy and I'll get the hot water bottle." Seth headed out to the kitchen and dean lay on the sofa facing the TV. He was really grateful to have Seth as a friend. He meant the world and more to Dean.


	3. Breaking the streak - Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triggering!

Friday was another live house show. Dean had a small match at the start of the show where he teamed up with Roman to fight against Wade Barrett and Rusev. Half way through the match Dean started to feel light headed and ended up messing up one of his moves, causing Rusev to pin him and win the match. Roman wasn't impressed to say the least.

"Dude, that's the second time this week that you messed up your moves!" Roman shouted, frustrated at Ambrose for not doing what he was told.

"Look I'm sorry, but it's not my fault I blacked out alright? I'm kinda sick at the moment." Dean argued.

"Well if your sick then you shouldn't be here!" Reigns pushed Dean into the closest wall and walked away, leaving Ambrose in a dangerous state.

Seth had overheard the argument between the two men and knew that it had upset Dean a lot more than it should have. The poor man was in a delicate state right now. He decided to find Roman and have a talk with him.

"Hey Rome, can I have a word?" Seth asked, peeping through the locker room door.

"Yeah sure." The Samoan followed Seth to the back parking lot. "What's up man?" He asked as they both leant against the wall of the building.

"I overheard the argument that you and Dean had earlier and I was just hoping that you could lay off him a bit, I mean the poor dude's sick and he's fragile at the moment." Seth said trying to persuade Roman.

"Well, like I said, he shouldn't be here if he's sick." Roman replied moodily.

"Oh come on, you should know more than anyone else that the WWE doesn't let you take a few days off for a stomach bug and to be honest I think it's something deeper than that." The two toned man looked towards the ground sadly.

"What do you mean?" Roman asked.

"I don't know but I don't think he's just sick. I think there's something else bothering him but he wont tell me what. I just want him to be okay so I was hoping you could not argue with him and maybe the two of you could apologies to each other?"

Roman sighed. "Sure, do you know where he is?"

"Not a clue." The two men headed back to the locker room to see that Dean's stuff had gone. Realizing that Dean was already back at the hotel they decided to make their way there.

__________

Dean felt nothing but anger. How dare Roman blame him for ruining the match. Okay, so maybe he messed one of his moves up but Roman always messes up. It wasn't Dean's fault that he was sick. Or was he sick? He had gotten so use to using that excuse that he actually believed it himself.

Millions of thoughts raced through the angered man's head. He was so confused as to what he was doing to himself. Why was he doing this to himself? He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve the physical and emotional torture he was putting himself through. He could eat if he wanted to.

He could eat if he wanted to.

That one sentence circled around his mind for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only seconds. His worn out feet carried him to the kitchen of his hotel room. It was almost as if his body was in a trance. His arms moved up towards the food cupboard and his still taped up hand grabbed a hold of the handle. The world around him was a blur. The only thing he could see as he opened the wooden cupboard was the large multi pack bag of crisps and a carton of unopened custard. 

He didn't remember anything apart from the constant routine of chew, swallow, chew, swallow. It felt like he had only just opened the cupboards but somehow he managed to eat five bags of crisps and the whole carton of custard.

Dean slowly came to realize what he had just done. This was not a part of the month plan. The guilt ate him from the inside to the point where he was crying his eyes out on the kitchen floor. He knew what he had to do to fix the problem.

Dean got up as quickly as he could, hearing a knock on the door and choosing to ignore it. He ran into the bathroom and collapsed onto his hands and knees in front of the toilet. He had never done this before but he knew how to do it. He stuck two of his fingers in his mouth and shoved then to the back of his throat. The foreign invasion caused him to gag. He kept doing this until he was able to throw up everything he had just eaten. His eyes watered from the burning acid travelling up his throat. He managed to get his fingers out of his mouth just before he heard footsteps coming towards him.

__________

Seth and Roman made it to the hotel in silence quite quickly. You could tell by the look on their faces that they weren't looking forward to seeing Dean. It's not that the pair of them didn't want to spend time with the boy. They just knew that Dean wasn't the type of person to apologies and neither was Roman. This was either going to end bad or end even worse. 

The two men made their way up to the third floor and knocked on room 302a.

"You sure this is his room?" Roman asked, skeptical of what might happen.

"Yeah he texted me this morning telling me the floor and the number." Seth answered becoming impatient. The two men heard hurried footsteps coming from the room.

"He's gotta be in there." Roman stated. "Is the door open?"

Seth turned the handle and to their luck it was open. Seth entered first, slowly followed by Roman. They saw that the light in the bathroom was on and made their way over to where they believed the man was. As they got closer they could hear quick breaths and sobs.

"Dean?" Seth called out in hope to get the mans attention. Dean didn't reply. Instead he lay on the floor next to the toilet and curled into a ball, trying to silence his sobs. Seth opened the door to the bathroom and gasped at the sight, instantly kneeling down next to Dean.

"Dean, you alright bud? What happened?" Seth asked, shaking the weak man's should. Dean continued to cry, so Seth picked him up and carried him out into the bedroom and onto the bed. Roman saw the vomit in the toilet and headed over to the sink to wet a flannel and get Dean a glass of water. He brought the flannel into the bedroom and put it on Dean's head. He then placed the glass of water on the bedside table.

"Hey Dean, you feeling alright?" Seth asked, soothingly stroking the sick mans hair. Dean's throat was burning and he knew he wouldn't be able to talk so he settled for shaking his head. "Do you want me to go get my hot water bottle for you? I'm only a few doors down." Seth suggested. Dean simply nodded, a tear falling down his cheek. "Alright I'll be back in a minute. Roman's here so if you need anything just ask." Seth smiled getting up and walking out of the room.

Dean closed his eyes and tried to take deep breaths. He knew Roman was in the room watching him, but he wasn't sure if the Samoan was still mad at him or not.

"Hey, I uh just wanted to apologies for earlier. I was out of order. I shouldn't have shouted at you, I'm sorry." Roman said sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

"S'okay." Dean managed to get out. "I shouldn't have missed my move."

"Hey it's not your fault. You're sick. Everyone gets a bit skew-if when they're sick." Roman smiled offering Dean the glass of water he brought in earlier. Dean gladly accepted. 

Seth arrived back at the room with the hot water bottle and placed it on Dean's stomach. The weak man instantly started hugging the warm object. He was asleep within minutes. Seth decided to stay with Dean on the bed whilst Roman went into the kitchen to find something to eat. It had been a long day. Once he got to the kitchen he saw the mess on the floor and started to wonder if Dean actually had a stomach bug. He headed back into the bedroom to get Seth. The two men went into the kitchen and Seth looked confused.

"I don't get it." Seth confessed.

"How can you not get it, Seth? A large amount of empty food packets on the floor and vomit in the toilet." Roman said, stating the obvious.

"Wait, do you think?"

"Yeah." Roman sighed brushing his fingers through his hair.

"That explains why he's been acting so strange lately." Seth felt like the worst best friend ever. How did he not notice this before?

"I think I'm going to clean this mess up and get going. It's been a long day and I need my bed." Roman said chucking the empty crisp packets in the trash can.

"Yeah, okay I think I'm gonna stay here tonight to make sure he's okay." Seth sighed.

The two men parted ways. Seth got into bed with Dean intending to stay awake and make sure that nothing bad happened, but ended up falling asleep within an hour. 

Seth awoke the next morning to see that Dean was snuggled up to him. He smiled at the sleeping man and took a picture of him even though it may have been strange to do that. For some reason Seth thought Dean looked cute.

Realizing that it was late in the morning, Seth got up and grabbed some breakfast. They had a live house show today in three hours so he thought he'd let Dean sleep for longer. When he got to the kitchen he remembered last night and what him and Roman saw on the kitchen floor. Seth was confused to say the least. Why would he do that? Is it my fault? Did I say something? The constant thoughts wouldn't stop rushing around his head. Everything that was happening was all too much. Seth left Dean's hotel room in a hurry. He wanted to talk to Roman.


	4. Departure of the weak - Part 4

Dean awoke an hour after Seth left. The first thing he saw when he woke up was Seth's phone. He decided to go onto his friends photo folder to see if the two-toned man had taken any new pictures of his dog Kevin, but instead he saw a picture of himself sleeping. He realized that the picture was taken earlier today because he was wearing the same clothes and he was holding Seth's hot water bottle. Speaking of Seth, where was he? He decided not to dwell on it.

Dean now needed to return Seth's hot water bottle and his phone before tonight's show. He had two hours until he needed to be at the arena so he decided to take a shower and head to the gym. He spent an hour at the gym and then made his way to the arena. Once he got there he saw Roman.

"Hey, you seen Seth?" Dean asked walking towards the Samoan.

"Uh yeah, somewhere near the stairs next to the first floor fire exit." Roman smiled seeing the hot water bottle in Dean's arms.

"Thanks man."

"No problem." The two men went there own ways. It took Dean a while to finally find Seth. He followed Roman's directions but they were not as accurate as he first thought. Seth gave him a strange look when he approached him.

"Hey Seth, I got your hot water bottle and your phone." Dean said handing the two objects over to his friend.

Seth took his belongings before walking away. Dean thought it was kind of rude for Seth to do that. He didn't even acknowledge the fact that Dean was there. He knew he didn't have time to worry about what just happened. He had a match to take part in.

The match went well and Dean was currently lying on the sofa in his hotel room wondering what was wrong with Seth. The guy completely ignored Dean's presence. He could have at least said thank you. The more Dean thought about it the worse he felt. Seth was his friend and he shouldn't be saying mean things about him. The poor guy was probably just having a bad day. For some reason Dean wanted to hug his friend. He wanted to take him out to the bar and get a drink with him. He wanted to take him back to the hotel and watch a movie with Seth whilst drinking hot chocolate and snuggling under a blanket. Dean just really wanted to hold Seth in his arms and show him how much he meant to him.

Dean wanted to show Seth how much he loved him. Did he love him? Maybe more like, like him in a more than friends way. He had to admit it, over the past few weeks he had been seeing Seth in a different light, but he knew that nothing would ever happen between the two of them. First of all Seth was straight and second of all why would anyone want to date Dean Ambrose? 

The tired man couldn't believe he was actually thinking about this. The best thing for him to do was go to bed.

Meanwhile in a small motel down the road from Dean, Seth sat on the dining chair thinking similar thoughts to the Lunatic Fringe.

At first Seth was confused as to why Roman wasn't bothered about Dean's struggles, because Seth was freaking out and worrying a lot more than the Samoan. He spent hours thinking about it once he left Dean's hotel and he came to the conclusion that he might have a small crush on Dean, which is why he ignored him today at the live show. He was too scared he would say something and give his secret away. He couldn't let that happen. Dean was straight. Dean didn't like him like that.

__________

Today was Monday and Monday meant RAW. Dean was sat in catering with Roman talking about the contract signing the two of them were doing on tonight's show with Brock Lesnar. The two of them were discussing who should confront the beast when Seth sat down in front of them.

"Hey guys." He smiled. Dean decided that he was all of a sudden interested in a game on his phone. Roman however greeted the young man back.

"So you got a match tonight?" Roman asked Seth.

"Yeah, just a small one against Kane." Seth said whilst eating a plate full of salad.

"Well, good luck. Me and Dean are scheduled to go on in a bit so we gotta get ready. See you later." Roman smiled standing up and walking off with Dean closely behind him. "Dude, what is your problem with Seth all of a sudden?" Roman asked once they reached the gorilla.

"Nothing. I don't know what you mean." Dean replied doing some last minute stretches.

"Oh come on, you were all talky talky until he walked over and when he said hi you completely ignored him." The Samoan whisper-shouted.

"I don't know. He ignored me yesterday so I just guessed he didn't want anything to do with me." Dean sighed.

"Dude, you need more self-confidence." Roman laughed as his music started to play.

"Whatever." 

__________

RAW finished with a bang. Dean was once again in his hotel room. He was currently in a lot of pain after the beat down he suffered from Lesnar. And to top it all of he got a phone call from Roman telling him that Seth had been badly injured on the show and was out of action for 6 - 9 months.

He felt guilty for not being able to say goodbye to his friend. He felt even worse for ignoring him earlier on today, but most of all he felt anger. Anger towards himself. How could he be so selfish?

Dean wanted a drink. He'd had enough for one day and he was ready to feel numb. The bar down the road was open until 3am, which gave him 2 hours to get completely shit-faced. He got there within minutes of leaving the hotel and ordered himself a beer and another, and another. Then he started on the heavy stuff. Irish Car Bomb, Whiskey Smash, Guinness, Jagerbomb. The night had only just started, but for Dean and his stomach full of poisonous liquid, it felt like the end.


	5. Midnight til dawn - Part 5

Dean left the pub once the barman refused to serve him. He managed two steps from the door before he fell to the ground in a giggling mess. He tried to get up but instead brought up an hours worth of alcohol.

"Dean, is that you?" The drunken man heard someone ask. The person came closer and kneeled down in front of Dean. Roman. "Are you drunk?" He asked in disgust. "Dude, we've got to tape Smackdown tomorrow what were you thinking?" Roman shouted causing Dean to jump.

"Relax bro, I can wrestle." Dean giggled trying to get up by holding onto the Samoan's leg.

"Don't be stupid. I know what you're like when you're drunk. I'll be lucky if you even show up." Roman looked furious.

"Calm down man I'm fine, just a bit tipsy. At least I'm not a light weight like you." 

"Shut up, don't bring jokes into this Dean. I am being serious when I say that I am extremely mad at you. Don't you realize how risky it is to get drunk on a work night with the company we work for?" By this point Roman had picked Dean up and leant him against the wall of the bar.

"Don't talk shit about my job. You're just jealous because I got a bigger push than you!" Dean shouted, no longer happy with his drunkenness.

"For God's sake Ambrose look at yourself! I am not jealous of you. In fact I pity you. All this fame has finally gone to your head and you're messed up in the brain. I mean, starving yourself. Really Dean?" Roman had crossed the line.

"You stay out of my business you stupid clown, you know nothing about me and what I'm going through. Stop taking your anger out on me it's not my fault your not the Rock's cousin." Dean laughed in a sadistic way.

"What has that got to do wi- y'know what I'm done. Take yourself home Ambrose. I'm sick of dealing with your shit. And as far as our friendship goes, it's done. All we do is argue. What's the point anymore?" Roman left Dean sat on the sidewalk.

__________

Dean awoke to the smell of smoke. He looked at his surroundings and realized that he was in an alley full of homeless people trying to fight off the cold. He stood up quickly causing a head rush and made his way to the hotel he was staying at. Luckily the hotel was only around the corner from the alley and Dean was in his room within minutes.

He had been feeling dizzy ever since he woke up, but he assumed that he was just hungover. His phone was on the kitchen counter. He picked it up to see that he had a text message from Kevin Owens.

'Hey dude, you coming into work today? Roman said you got drunk and got mad at him.' 

Dean decided to ring his buddy and ask for a lift to the arena. Owens picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Dean, you good?" Owens asked.

"Yeah man I'm good, you?" Ambrose asked, trying to untie his shoes.

"I'm doing fine. You coming in today?"

"Yeah, is there any chance I can get a lift? I'm not exactly in the best condition to drive at the moment." Dean laughed, putting Kevin on loud speaker so he could get changed into some clean clothes.

"Sure. I'll pick you up in about an hour."

"Okay, see you in a bit." Dean hung up and attempted to make it to the bathroom when he lost the ability to move. His body turned to jelly and his vision went black as he hit the floor.

__________

Owens decided to pick Dean up early. He had text him asking for his room number, but he got no reply. He made his way over to the reception desk and asked for his friends number. Once he got to Ambrose's room he knocked on the door, but once again, no reply. Owens called Dean again. He heard a phone ringing on the other side of the door, so it was obvious that Dean was there. He tried to open the door and found that it was unlocked.

The room was silent.

"Dean? You in here bud?" Kevin walked around the room and ended up seeing Dean on the bathroom floor. "Hey Dean?" Owens started to panic. He called an ambulance and waited with the unconscious man. 

The paramedics put Dean on a stretcher and took him to the nearest hospital. Owens made his way to the arena to let Hunter know what had happened.

Dean awoke after being at the hospital for half an hour. The doctor told him he was malnourished and needed to sort out his diet, but for the mean time he needed to rest. Dean knew he had a match later on tonight so there was no way he was resting. He checked himself out of the hospital and got a taxi to the arena. He literally had to run to the locker room, get changed and then run out to the ring. 

Once the match was over Triple H called Dean into his office. Dean knew what was coming next.

"Dean, take a seat." Hunter said, gesturing towards a single chair opposite the desk. Dean sat down and tried not to make eye contact with the boss. "Why were you late today?" Hunter asked.

"Oh, um I don't know." Dean answered looking at the ground. 

"Owens told me you were at the hospital." The boss sighed.

"Oh, yeah it was nothing bad sorry, just had an accident." He mumbled back.

"Well, what kind of accident did you have?" 

"I just fainted, nothing bad. The doctor just said I need to drink more water." Dean hoped that Hunter would believe his excuse.

"You know that we are very strict about the people who work here at this company. You need to take care of yourself in order to keep your job. And don't get drunk on a work night!" He shouted, looking furious with Dean.

"Sorry Hunter, I wont do it again."

"Okay well, you're lucky I'm giving you another chance. Don't mess it up." His boss said shooing him out of the room.

"Thank you sir." Dean replied as he left the office and headed to the locker room to gather up his stuff and go to the hotel.

When Dean got back to the hotel he grabbed a bottle of water and sat on the sofa. He turned the TV on and watched an hours worth of Family Guy before he got bored. He had missed Seth a lot today. He didn't know how he was going to cope without his friend for another nine months. He was struggling with one day. He thought that it would be a good idea to give him a text and see if they were still okay with each other.

'Hey.' Dean wrote. He got a reply almost instantly.

'Hey man, what's up?'

'Not much. Having a bit of a bad day and you not being here isn't helping.' Dean sent sighing at the thought of Seth not being with him.

'Aw, why are you having a bad day? Are you still sick?'

'Nah I'm not sick but I got drunk last night and fell out with Roman and then I passed out from dehydration today and had to go to the hospital. I literally got to the arena as my match was starting so Hunter got mad at me and I really miss you. You're the only person who makes me happy now a days.'

'Wow you guys are really struggling without me. I've only been gone for a day. And don't worry about Roman. You know how over sensitive he is, he'll get over it.'

'Yeah, you're right. Anyway how are you?'

'Well apart from the fact that I can't walk I'm doing pretty good. It's just so boring being at home all day an not being able to work out or see you guys.'

'You poor thing. If you wanted to see people you could do that face time thing.'

'You're right, I'm gonna test it on you.' A Moment later Dean's phone started ringing and when he clicked the answer button Seth's face popped up.

"Wow, this is weird." Dean laughed trying to hide his face.

"Yeah, I've never done this before." Seth admitted. The two of them had been talking to each other for over an hour without realising. Seth kept pulling funny faces to make Dean laugh. It just made Dean fall in love with him even more. They were about to say goodbye, when Seth dropped a huge bombshell on Dean.

'Oh hey, I forgot to tell you. I got a girlfriend.' Seth smiled and instantly looked more happy talking about her than any other time he had talked to Dean.

'Dude that's awesome! Congrats!' Dean faked a smile and pretended to be happy for his friend, even though he was far from it. They decided that it was getting late and ended their face time call. 

Every ounce of Dean's previous happiness had completely disappeared.


	6. It's all too much, I don't feel a thing - Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggering - Depressing thoughts and self-harm.

The thought of his only love being with another destroyed all emotions that made up the mind of the weak man. Dean had become numb. Everything had become too much and he knew that he had finally reached his breaking point on the mental scale.

Dean was sat in bed with all the lights off. The darkness surrounded him and engulfed his brain into a dangerous place. His mind spoke painful words to him, words that affected him but did not hurt the soul of the lunatic.

His hand traveled around his body. He felt his stomach and his thighs, they were both huge. He didn't understand why he was still so big. He knew that he was only a few days into the month plan, but he thought that there would be some kind of a difference by now.

That's why Seth doesn't want you. He's disgusted at you. He's embarrassed to be around you. Your thighs are twice the size of his, that is not healthy Ambrose! His mind screamed at him, begging him to do something. He didn't like being numb. He wanted to feel pain. He needed it. He deserved it.

Dean got off of the bed and ran over to his gym bag where he found one of his many lighters. The flame hypnotized his mind. The bright, yellow flicker of fire made him feel happy. He thought about all the people who would laugh at him if they saw what he was about to do. Roman would be one of them. Seth would be the next. Hunter would probably get mad at him, but he would also be happy to see someone he hated cause themselves pain. 

He moved the lighter towards his left arm and placed it on his wrist. The flame ignited and a large stinging pain shot through his arm. It felt good. It felt great to finally get what he deserved. He held the flame in the same place on his wrist until the skin split and started to bleed, then he moved the lighter to another spot on his arm and repeated the process.

He was left with four burn marks on his arm, each bleeding, some more than others. He felt extremely happy with himself. It was almost like he had just burnt out all of his demons, including Seth's girlfriend.

Along with his happiness there was also a small amount of worry. How was he going to hide these burns whilst he was in the ring? His attire has always been short sleeves. Dean knew for a fact that he couldn't let anyone see these burns. He didn't want people laughing at him for being so weak. Hunter would probably fire him for being mentally unstable and then all the fans would hate him. Roman would probably tell Seth and Seth would be disgusted at him and never want to talk to him again. He couldn't let that happen. Dean eventually passed out on his bedroom floor. He was physically and mentally exhausted.

__________

Morning came and Dean was currently getting ready for the live show later on tonight. He had a match against Kevin Owens for the Intercontinental Championship. He had already been to the gym and was now showering. Dean decided to give himself a hair cut. He didn't want to cut too much off, just enough so he could see when he was walking. He was also extremely bored so he needed to kill some time. 

His hair looked quite good and his head felt lighter. For some reason the small change in appearance made him feel a lot more confident. However, that feeling didn't last long. He saw the burn marks on his arm and spent an hour trying to figure out how he was going to cover them during his match. He decided that he would bandage them up and tell people that he had sprained his arm or something like that, but he needed bandages in order to do that. He knew that he could buy some on the way to the arena but he needed to get the bandages on his arm without anyone seeing the marks.

Dean made his way to the arena, an hour early, and headed straight to the locker room. It was empty when he got there so he saw this as his chance. He took off his hoodie, but as he grabbed the box of bandages out of his bag he heard a voice.

"Damn Dean, what happened to your arm?" Jey Uso asked in shock.

"Oh, um I've got a really bad rash. I saw the doctor this morning and he said to cover it up so I don't scratch at it more." Dean smiled gesturing towards the bandages.

"That looks painful, but you're a trooper. Anyway see you later man." Jey patted Dean on the shoulder before leaving the locker room. Dean managed to get the bandage on before anyone else arrived.

Jey circled the arena in search for Roman. He knew that his fellow Samoan had fallen out with Dean, but he was the closet person to the Lunatic Fringe at the moment, since Seth was out of the equation. He needed to let Roman know about the marks he saw on Dean's arm. He didn't know exactly what they were but they definitely weren't caused by a rash. They looked like burns.

Jey finally found Roman in the car park and ran towards him.

"Hey Jey, what's up?' Roman asked as the two of them walked towards the entrance of the arena.

"I think you need to talk to Dean." The Uso rushed out. Roman frowned.

"Why? I ain't getting involved with him."

"Look I saw him in the locker room earlier and he had marks on his arm. He said that it was just a rash, but it looks like h-he well, um it looks like he may have burnt himself... on purpose." 

"What?" Roman looked concerned.

"Yeah, it was pretty bad but I think he's got a bandage over his arm now." 

"Thanks for letting me know. I'll see what I can do." The two of them entered the locker room and saw Dean doing some push-ups on the floor. He looked worn out.

__________

Roman decided to call Seth before he went out to the ring. He wasn't sure on how to approach Ambrose, so he decided to ask his friend for help.

"He did what?" Seth shouted as Roman told him about Dean's arm.

"Yeah, and according to Jey, it's pretty bad." The Samoan sighed. "Could you just call him tonight after the show and have a word with him? You're the only person he likes at the moment."

"Yeah I'll call him. Thanks for telling me." The two of them ended their conversation and Roman headed out to the ring.

Dean was starting to lose his mind. No matter where he went people kept giving him strange looks. It was almost as if his fellow wrestlers were concerned for him, pitying him. He wanted to know why.

His match went well. He managed to retain his championship. Once he got back to the locker room he checked his phone to see that he had a message from Seth. His heart warmed at the thought of what Seth might have wrote.

'Hey, text me when you get back to the hotel x'

Dean was confused as to why Seth wanted to text him, but what confused him more was the fact that Seth had put a kiss on the end. He had never done that before. Dean started to get butterflies in his stomach and made his way back to the hotel as quick as possible.

Dean got into bed as soon as he got back to the hotel. He was exhausted but he knew he had to text Seth.

'Hey, I'm at the hotel x'

He thought he would put a kiss as well. A few minutes later his phone started to ring. It was Seth.

"Hello?" Seth greeted.

"H-hey." Dean yawned.

"So, um are you okay?" Seth asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm good. You sure you're okay? Roman called me earlier and said something happened to your arm."

"W-what do you mean?" Dean started to worry. Was it really that noticeable?

"Roman told me that Jey told him that you had burnt yourself." Seth sighed.

"N-no, I don't know what you're talking about. I've j-just got a r-rash." Dean was trying his best to hold in his tears. He couldn't believe Seth knew about his arm. He was probably disgusted with him. What if this was Seth saying goodbye?

"Look Ambrose, I want you to be honest with me. Please just tell me, did you hurt yourself?" Dean could no longer hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed. "Please don't be mad. Don't leave me." The weak man pleaded.

"Hey, calm down. I'm not mad I promise. I just wanted to know the truth, that way I can help you out and you can get better." Seth said sympathetically.

"You're not disgusted?" Dean asked sounding so innocent.

"Of course I'm not. What made you think that?"

"No one wants to be my friend anymore and I know that soon you'll realize how worthless I am to you and you'll leave me eventually, just like everyone else. I thought this phone call was your goodbye to me."

"Don't be stupid. I'm not gonna leave you. You're my best friend and you mean a lot to me, okay? I'm never going to think you're worthless. I think you're amazing and if you're still worrying about Roman then don't. Like I told you last night, he'll come around eventually. How can he stay mad at you?" Seth tried to drill every word into Dean's head in hope that he would realize how much he means to Seth.

"You don't mean that." The boy sobbed.

"Hey do I have to come over there and pedigree you?" Seth laughed. "You know I mean it. I mean every word I say to you."

"Thank you." Dean smiled.

"For what?" Seth asked.

"For everything. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for you." The weak man had now calmed down and was wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. "You mean so much to me. I don't know what I'd do if you left me."

"Well, you don't need to worry about what you'd do because I'm never gonna leave you. You mean too much to me to leave. And you're welcome." The two of them laughed at the last part. 

"You have a beautiful laugh." Dean said, before it was too late, He'd crossed the line. Seth was going to freak out an-

"Why thank you young sir, the same could be said for you." Dean instantly relaxed, but still felt a bit awkward. 

"Thanks." Dean yawned.

"Maybe you should get some sleep. You sound tired." Seth suggested.

"Yeah, you're right. Goodnight and thank you once again." Dean smiled, wishing Seth was here with him.

"Sleep tight." 

The two men finished their conversation and for the first time in a long time Dean was able to fall asleep without a single worry.


	7. 'I love you brotha, I'm sorry.' - Part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggering - Suicide attempt. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

The next morning was Saturday and Dean woke up extra early so he could go to the gym and shower before heading to the arena. He arrived at work early for the second day in a row and he felt proud of himself. Ever since the phone call with Seth took place last night, Dean felt as if he was a new person. He had a new mind set. He felt refreshed. It was a very pleasant thing to experience.

He headed straight to the locker room and got changed into his ring gear, making sure to cover up the burns with a bandage. He spent an hour jogging around the corridors and waiting for more people to arrive. He passed trainer, Nick's office on his jog and decided to make a pit stop.

"Hey doc, mind if I use your scales?" Dean asked with a cheeky smile on his face.

"No problem Dean, go ahead."

Dean stepped on the scales, excitement bouncing through him, adrenaline running through his veins. He must have lost some weight surely? The needle on the scales couldn't make a decision and kept moving around until... 215 lbs. Wait that was 15.3 stone. Dean started to panic. Had he really lost so little weight? He thought he would have lost at least 2 stone by now. All of Dean's happiness disappeared.

He left the Trainer's room and headed for the locker room, only to be stopped by Triple H. 

"Hey Dean, nice to see you here so early but I'm afraid there is no need for you to be here. Your match has been cancelled. We found someone else to team up with Roman so you can just head back to your hotel if you want." Hunter walked off with a smug look on his face.

Dean felt as if his whole world had just collapsed around him. His match was cancelled. They had never cancelled one of his matches before. They didn't need him. Triple H didn't need him. The WWE didn't need him.

What was the point anymore? Dean no longer wanted to be a burden to the WWE Universe. His co-workers could care less about him. He meant nothing to no one. What was the point in living?

Ambrose packed up his bag and was heading towards the exit of the arena when he bumped into someone. Roman.

"Watch where you're going idiot." Roman snarled, walking away. Dean knew this was his last chance to apologies.

"Roman, wait." Dean called out, the Samoan turned around and gave Dean a dirty look.

"What?" He asked in disgust.

"Look, Roman I just wanted to apologies for everything. I love you brotha, I'm sorry." A tear ran down Dean's face as he turned around and left the arena for the last time.

The car journey was long and painful for Dean. He just wanted to get to the hotel as quick as possible and the traffic didn't help at all. 

He finally reached his rented out room and placed his bag down on the floor near the front door. He took one last look around the room before walking into the bathroom. He had a lot of time to think whilst he was in the car. He thought about how he should do it. Did he want to slit his wrist and bleed out or did he want to overdose on some random pills he found in the pub the other night? He knew that he wanted it to be an excruciatingly painful process, one that took a long time to finally end him, so he decided on drowning himself.

The bathroom was silent. Dean stood there looking at the empty bath tub and wondering if he really wanted to do this. However he quickly made his mind up and turned on the taps. He didn't want anyone to find him naked so he kept his clothes on, minus his boots. It felt like hours before the bath was finally full, but it had only been ten minutes.

Dean grabbed his phone from out of his pocket and texted Seth. He wanted to have a proper goodbye.

'Hey, I just wanted you to know that I love you so much and I'm so sorry for all I have done wrong. Please forgive me xx'

He felt like that small text was enough. He placed his phone on the floor and took a deep breath.

Dean stepped slowly into the bath tub and lay himself down, so that his head was the only thing above the water. He took a few deep breaths before lowering his head under the warm liquid.

At first he didn't feel any pain, but once he needed to breathe it became harder to stay under, somehow he did. He could feel his lungs squeeze smaller as he chocked and gagged on the water. His throat burned with trapped air and his ears pounded, but he liked it. All he could hear was the rumble of clear liquid that surrounded him. His body could take no more. He felt the warm rush of water flowing through the back of his throat and nose. He had never felt anything so painful, but he was relieved. Slowly his sight and consciousness started to slip away and he was enveloped by the darkness below. For the first time in a long time Dean felt at peace with the world. 

__________

Roman was confused to say the least. He had treated Dean like shit, but for some reason the Lunatic said that he loved him and that he was his brother. He also said something about being sorry. What was he sorry for? The Samoan decided to worry about this after his match.

Once he had finished his match, which wasn't with Dean for some reason, he headed back to the locker room. He grabbed his phone and saw that he had got a text from Seth.

'Hey, is Ambrose okay? I got a weird text from him just now saying that he loves me and that he's sorry. Has something happened?'

Roman replied instantly.

'I'm not sure. He wasn't in the match tonight and he said something similar to me. I'm gonna go check on him.'

'Okay well, let me know if he's okay when you see him.'

'Will do.'

Roman had a bad feeling in his gut. He wondered why Dean would say that to him and Seth so randomly, but then it clicked. Dean wasn't right in the head. Dean was going to hurt himself.

Roman ran to his car and drove over to Dean's hotel, breaking the speed limit more than once. He had to ask the man at the desk for Ambrose's room number. Luckily it was only on the first floor. Roman sprinted to his friends room and pounded on the door.

"Dean you in there?" He shouted, still knocking. He was panicking even more than before. Why wasn't he answering. Roman tried opening the door and to his luck it was unlocked. The room was scarily quiet and it was making the Samoan feel nauseous. 

"Dean?" He shouted once again, but no reply. He searched all the rooms accept for the bathroom. He was dreading what he might find. He slowly opened the door to the bathroom and stepped in. What he saw broke his heart. His best friend, his brother, laying in the bath tub, lifeless.

He grabbed Dean's floppy body and lifted him out of the water, holding him in his arms. He saw his friend's phone on the floor and called for an ambulance. Roman lay Dean on the floor and tried giving him CPR, but it wasn't working. The Samoan sobbed and screamed for the Lord to spare his brother.

The paramedics arrived and performed CPR on Dean as well. After a few minutes the weak boy started to cough up water. He was still unconscious but he was breathing. Roman had never felt so relieved in his life. He rode in the ambulance with Dean and spent an hour in the hospital waiting room before he remembered that he had to call Seth. This was going to be a hard conversation.


	8. Flying out to Seattle - Part 8

Roman wasn't looking forward to ringing Seth. He knew it would break the boy's heart beyond repair, but he did make a promise to his friend and he wasn't about to break it. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was 1:33 am. Hopefully Seth was awake. Roman dialed in his number and clicked the call button.

"Hello." He heard Seth's tired voice.

"Hey, Seth it's Roman." 

"Oh hey, did you find out what was wrong with Ambrose?" 

"Yeah." Roman sighed. "I'm at the hospital with him right now."

"Wait what? What happened?" Seth's voice quivered.

"I found him unconscious in the hotel bath tub. I think he tried to drown himself."

"Oh god." The two-toned man cried. "Why would he do that. I-is he okay now?"

"I'm not sure. I've been in the waiting room for over an hour, but they won't tell me anything. They rushed him to a specialist care unit as soon as we got here." Roman was struggling to hold the tears back but he knew he had to be strong for Seth.

"I'm catching the next flight over. Which hospital are you at?" 

"The main one, near the airport I think."

"Okay, the next flight is in an hour so I should be there by 4 am." Seth stated. "Just make sure Dean's okay."

"I will don't worry. See you in a bit, brotha."

"See ya." Seth hung up.

Roman got up out of his uncomfortable seat and headed to the reception desk. The lady at the desk looked very tired, but she also seemed like a kind person.

"Excuse me, could you tell me if there is any news on my friend, Dean Ambrose please? He came in about an hour ago." Roman asked as politely as he could. The lady searched through her computer for a few minutes until she found Dean's file.

"Okay, so his breathing has been stabilized and he has been moved out of the Special Care Unit. I could bring a doctor down to take you to see your friend if you like." She smiled, sympathetically.

"Yes, that would be great. Thank you."

"No problem." The receptionist called for a doctor and told Roman that he would be there momentarily.

Roman took a seat and waited for the doctor. Finally he appeared.

"Is someone here for a Mr Dean Ambrose?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's me." The Samoan smiled sheepishly. 

"Ah, follow me." The two of them left the waiting room and headed towards an elevator. "Are you related to Mr Ambrose?" The doctor asked.

"No, I'm just a close friend."

"Well, it's a good job you found him when you did. We struggled a lot to stabilize his breathing. His body put up a good fight, but luckily we won. He has done some damage to his lungs but we can just give him some antibiotics to fix that." They finally got out of the elevator and entered a large corridor.

"Your friend has his own private room as he is currently in a coma. We're not sure how long he will be in the coma for, I'm afraid there is no way of telling. He's doing good at the moment though." The doctor stated as they reached the door to the room. The doctor opened the door and gestured for Roman to follow.

Dean had multiple tubes down his throat. One to help with his breathing and the other for food. His hands, arms and chest all had needles sticking out of them to give Dean the right medication. It was a horrific sight to see and it made Roman feel sick.

"Mr Ambrose seems to be very malnourished, were you aware of this?" The doctor, Todd asked.

"Um, he's been having some problems with food lately but I didn't realize it was this bad." Roman confessed feeling as though he had failed his friend. Why didn't he try to help Dean sooner?

"That's a common mistake. People don't realize what going on in someone else's mind. Did he do this to himself on purpose?" Todd asked grabbing a pen and a piece of paper.

"Yeah, I think so."

"And those burns on his arms. Self-harm?"

"Yes." Roman sighed.

"Alright, well I'll leave you with him. Are you expecting anymore visitors?"

"My friend Seth is traveling from Iowa, so he should be here in a few hours. Him and Dean are very close."

"Okay, that's fine. I'll be back in an hour to check on Mr Ambrose." The doctor smiled as he exited the room. Roman decided to text Seth and tell him the news.

'Hey, his breathing has been stabilized and he's out of the Special Care Unit. He's in a coma though and they don't know when he's going to wake up.'

'Okay, that's half good I guess. I'm on the plane so I'll be about 2 hours tops.'

'Cool, see you in a bit'

Roman had read stories about people in comas and one of the most common things people talk about is how the patient can hear others talking around them. Roman thought he would give it a shot and see if he could help his friend.

"Hey, Dean? You there bud?" Roman smiled realizing how strange he must look talking to himself. The things he does for his friend. "I hope you can hear me. I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry for treating you badly these last couple of days. You didn't deserve that. I hope you wake up soon. I miss you already."

The time passed excruciatingly slow and Roman felt as if he was losing his mind. That was until Seth arrived.

"Hey." He said as he entered the room on his crutches. 

"Hey, how was your flight." Roman asked.

"Good, how's Ambrose?" Seth looked over at his friend on the bed and started crying instantly. 

"He's doing okay."

Roman helped Seth to sit down on one of the hospital chairs and told him about everything that had happened that night.

The two men eventually got some sleep, but it wasn't peaceful. The constant beeping of the heart monitor was enough to drive anyone insane.


	9. Hate to see your heart break - Part 9

Dean was still in hospital. It was Sunday today, the day after his suicide attempt. Roman had called Triple H earlier on in the day to tell him the news and Dean had received numerous 'Get well soon' gifts from his fellow superstars and divas. The room was filled with balloons and flowers, they really brightened the place up. Seth was asleep in the uncomfortable hospital chair when Stephanie and Hunter arrived.

"Hey Roman, how's he doing?" Paul asked as he entered the room and took a seat.

"He's doing better than he was last night. They managed to stabilize his breathing, but he slipped into a coma and they're not sure when he'll wake up." The Samoan sighed.

"It's just so sad to see him like this. He was always the one making jokes and now here we are." Stephanie said looking gloomy.

"Yeah I know, seeing him in the bath tub so lifeless just killed me. It's horrible to see him like this." Roman sighed, looking over to Seth. "Seth flew over last night."

"Yeah I noticed. Is his leg any better?" Hunter asked.

"It seems to be okay, but I don't think he's worried about it at the moment. He stayed awake all night watching Dean. He wanted to make sure someone was here to help him if he woke up."

"He thinks the world of Dean. You both do. It must be really hard for the two of you. Do you wanna take tonight off?" Triple H asked Roman.

"That would be great, but only if you're sure."

"Yeah it's fine, we'll find someone to take your place for the night." Hunter smiled. "We were thinking about playing a video of Dean's best bits on RAW tomorrow. Just to wish him a speedy recovery."

"I think that's a great idea." Roman smiled.

Hunter and Stephanie left after a quick visit. Even they were struggling to hold the tears back. Roman had many people texting him and asking about Dean's health. He knew he couldn't message them all so he decided to post a message on his official Facebook page.

'For all of those who are worried and concerned for my good friend Dean Ambrose, he is getting better. The wonderful doctors and nurses managed to stabilize his breathing and he is currently in a coma. No one knows when he will wake up, but let's hope it's a speedy recovery. Thank you for all your kind messages and gifts, Dean would be very grateful. - Roman. PS Seth says hi :)'

Roman took a picture of Dean in the hospital bed and posted it with the message. He wanted people to see the harsh reality of the situation, but also he knew people would feel more reassured if they saw a picture of him.

Seth awoke to the sound of beeping. It was the same noise that he had fallen asleep to. He looked around to see that Ambrose was still in a coma and Roman was sat in a chair playing on his phone. Typical Roman. Seth stretched his back and legs in order to stop the aching pain he got from sleeping in a chair.

"Hey Roman." Seth yawned looking over to his Samoan friend.

"Morning Seth, sleep well?"

"Yeah, better than I thought I would. Any change with Dean?"

"Nah, he's still the same as last night. Hunter and Stephanie popped in earlier. They gave me the night off so I could stay here." Roman got up and moved his chair over to were Seth was sitting.

"That's good then. Did they say anything about Dean?"

"They just said that they didn't realize how unhappy he was and how hard it must be for us. They're going to play a video of Dean's best bits on RAW tomorrow."

"That will be nice. I'm gonna go get a coffee, you want one?" Seth grabbed his crutches and headed for the door.

"Yes please." Roman replied.

Being alone in the room with Dean in a coma felt really strange. Roman felt as if Dean was going to jump up all of a sudden and surprise him, but he didn't. Instead he lay motionless on the bed with his eyes closed. The realization of what had happened finally hit Roman and he started to question everything. What if he never wakes up? What if I hadn't of found him? What if he stops breathing for some reason? Luckily his thoughts where cut short when Seth hobbled into the room on one leg and with two coffees.

"Here you go." Seth handed Roman his drink and sat down in the chair next to his friend. "Hey Roman, can I talk to you about something?" Seth asked.

"Of course you can, you don't need to ask." Roman smiled taking a sip of his drink.

"Well, I broke up with my girlfriend before I left to get my flight."

"Really?" Roman was shocked. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Um not really I just... I think I'm in love with somebody else and I didn't want to lie to her about it, so we decided to end things. She said we could still be friends but she hasn't text me or anything." Seth sighed.

"Hey bro, don't worry about it. She wasn't the right one, but you'll find the right one eventually." Roman smiled patting his friend on the shoulder. "Oh and thanks for the coffee." The two of them laughed at Roman's random thanks and continued to make conversation through out the day.

__________

Monday arrived and Roman had to leave the hospital to get ready for RAW. The doctors put a TV in Dean's room so that Seth could watch RAW. He wanted to see the video they made for Dean. It was a compilation of his best bits and at the end all of the superstars and divas came out on the ramp and held a minute silence. Seth saw Roman at the back and he looked like he was crying. The overwhelming love for Dean had Seth in tears as well.

He grabbed his friends hand and laced their fingers together. Seth needed Dean to wake up. He couldn't live without him.

An hour passed with Seth holding Dean's hand and laying his head on the bed. Seth was just about to fall asleep when he felt Dean's hand twitch.

"Dean?" Seth was shocked and worried and excited and happy, but Dean didn't wake up. Another hour passed in silence. Suddenly Dean made a noise. It sounded as if he was trying to speak and then he started to choke on the tubes down his throat.

Seth got up as fast as he could, with his faulty leg, and pressed the emergency button. Four doctors came rushing into the room. They were taking the tubes out of Dean's throat. Luckily it was a quick process. They managed to calm Ambrose down quite quickly and placed and oxygen tube in the opening of his nostrils to make sure he could breath properly.

"Mr Ambrose, can you hear me?" Doctor Todd asked. Dean nodded. "Okay good. Do you know where you are?" Dean shook his head, no.

"You're in the Seattle Hospital. A couple nights ago you tried to kill yourself, but luckily your friend Mr Roman found you and we were able to help you. Are you able to speak?"

"Y-yes." His voice was a whisper.

"Do you have any questions?" The doctor asked.

"S-seth?"

Seth got up and sat on the bed as quickly as he could.

"I'm here Dean, I'm here." He grabbed onto Dean's hand and rested his head on his friends shoulders. He was still trying to get over what had just happened, but he felt overjoyed that his friend had finally woke up.

The doctors left the room and told Seth to call if there were any problems.

"Dean?" Seth tried to get his friends attention. Dean looked at Seth to show that he was listening. "You gave us all a big scare." Seth smiled as a tear escaped his eye. "I thought I had lost you."

"I-I'm sorry."

"Shhh, there's no need to be sorry. Get some rest okay? I'm gonna call Roman and let him know you're awake." Seth kissed his friends forehead as Dean drifted of to sleep. Seth dialed Roman's number and hit the call button.

"Hello, Seth what's up? Has something happened with Dean?" His friend sounded worried.

"Calm down man, Dean's awake." Seth smiled.

"Oh thank you Lord. Did he just wake up?" Roman asked.

"Yeah about ten minutes ago, but he's asleep now. I had a quick talk with him but he was exhausted the poor guy. They had to take the tubes out of his throat and he was choking and panicking, but he's all good. He's got an oxygen tube in his nose though because they're still worried about his breathing."

"Well that's good. I just finished my match so I'll be there in an hour or so."

"Okay see you soon." Seth couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. His friend was going to be okay.

__________

Dean was a lot less sleepy on Tuesday morning. He was very shy around everyone and he didn't talk much, which was awkward when people came to visit him. Seth was sat next to Dean talking about a new film that had come out at the cinema, when William Regal and Kevin Owens walked in.

"Heya guys." Owens smiled as he sat down next to Seth.

"Hey Owens, Regal. How are you two?" Seth asked.

"We're all good, just a bit worried about Deany boy." Owens smiled pushing Dean's shoulder causing him to laugh. "How are you feeling?"

"Good I guess." Ambrose mumbled shyly, clearly embarrassed about the whole situation.

"Do you know when you'll be let out?" Regal asked.

"Tomorrow I think."

Owens and Regal stayed for an hour before leaving and letting their friend rest. Dean fell asleep for a few hours but awoke in time for lunch. He still didn't want to eat food but the doctors made him.

Seth wanted to know what was going through Dean's mind, so once he finished his pudding cup he sat on the bed next to his friend and held his hand.

"Dean?" Seth asked.

"Yeah?" Ambrose rested his head on Seth's shoulder, still exhausted from everything.

"Why'd you do it?"

"I don't know. I just lost my mind." Dean answered. Seth started to tear up.

"Roman called me and I thought you were dead. I thought I had lost you and I was freaking out at the airport. Just seeing you motionless on the hospital bed with tubes and needles sticking out of you killed me. It broke my heart." Both men were crying now.

"I-I'm s-sorry." Dean sobbed putting his head in his hands.

"Hey, don't be sorry." Seth held his friend in his arms. "It's not your fault. I just want to know why you did it."

"I just don't l-like myself. I d-don't s-see the point in me being here. I-I just get in everyone's way." Hearing Dean's voice so broken and desperate for love, tore Seth apart.

"Dean, listen to me okay?" Seth place his hand under his friends chin and lifted his head so he could look into his eyes. "You mean everything to me. I would be dead without you okay? I love you so much. More than you would ever know. You're not in anyone's way, I promise."

Dean needed to hear that. He needed the reassurance. Looking into Seth's eyes and hearing him say that he loved him caused Dean to do something stupid. He leaned in closer towards his friend and placed his lips on Seth's.

Dean Ambrose was kissing Seth Rollins.


	10. Love is all you need - Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short and simple chapter. Fluffy and clique. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

Dean Ambrose was kissing Seth Rollins and Seth was kissing Dean back. It felt like a dream come true for the two men. It wasn't the most exciting kiss but it left the two of them speechless. Dean lay next to Seth on the hospital bed trying to catch his breath. He didn't know whether Rollins liked the kiss or not, but he was too embarrassed to ask.

Seth was thinking similar thoughts. He knew that after what happened, Dean would be too scared to say anything so he decided to speak for him.

"That was nice." Seth smiled.

"Yeah, sorry." Dean mumbled trying his best not to make eye contact.

"Why are you sorry for?"

"For kissing you without your permission and y'know you've got a girlfriend so..."

"I don't have a girlfriend." Seth sighed. "I broke up with her after I heard you were in hospital."

"What? Why'd you do that?"

"Because Mr Ambrose, you mean so much to me. You mean so much more than any stupid girl. I wanted to make sure I was here for you not just because you're my friend, but also because I kinda like you." Seth blushed towards the end causing Dean to smile.

"I kinda like you too."

The two men attached their lips again. Seth pulled away before it got too heated, which panicked Dean as he thought Seth had changed his mind, but he calmed down quite quickly once he heard what his two-toned lover said.

"So, would you like to go out on a date with me?"

"Yes you dork. I would love to." Dean laughed and hugged Seth. The pair fell asleep in the comfort of each others arms.

__________

Dean was discharged from hospital on Wednesday afternoon. He had a few days off from work to recover, so for the meantime he was staying with Seth. The two men flew to Iowa and got to Seth's house at 7pm.

"So about that date." Seth smirked as Dean lay down on the sofa. "You hungry?"

"You're such a nerd. Are you gonna make a romantic dinner for two?" Dean laughed.

"Actually I was thinking about ordering pizza and sticking a movie on." Seth said grabbing his phone.

"Okay then, I'll have a Hawaiian pizza please." The older of the two stood up from the sofa and crouched down on the floor by the TV to pick out a DVD. Seth went out into the kitchen to order the pizza, when he returned to the living room he saw Dean kneeling on the floor.

"Mm-hmm look at the booty." 

"Hey, you leave my booty out of this." Both men giggled at the strange conversation. "Should we watch The Dark Knight or Avengers: Age Of Ultron?" Dean asked.

"Avengers."

"I knew you'd say that."

"You know me too well." Seth smirked. Dean put the movie into the DVD player and sat on the sofa next to Seth.

The pizza arrived 20 minutes into the film. The two men shared a large Hawaiian pizza, Seth eating more than half. Once the pizza had been demolished Seth put his arm around Dean's shoulders. They sat like that for a few minutes until Dean worked up some courage and gave Seth a proper cuddle.

The movie had finished. Dean looked up at Seth to see that he was asleep. He knew he didn't have the strength to carry his friend upstairs, so he instead stayed on the sofa and fell asleep next to his love.

Both men woke up pretty late on Thursday, luckily for them they had no plans. Seth got a call from Roman saying that he was on his way over to have a catch up with his brothers. The two men decided not to tell Roman about their date, as they weren't too sure as to what was going on between them.

Roman rang the doorbell thirteen times in a row. He was excited to see his friend. Dean answered the door only to be instantly met with a big Samoan hug.

"Hey Dean, it's nice to see you awake." Roman said as he pulled away from the hug.

"Thanks man, you too?" Dean wasn't sure about what his friend was talking about, but then he remembered that he had been in a coma. "Oh, right. I forgot." The two men laughed at Dean's bad memory.

"So how are you man?"

"I'm good. Just kinda crashing at Seth's house for a few days."

"You still wrestling at FastLane?"

"Hell yeah, you ain't getting me out of that."

"That's good then. Where is Seth anyway?" Roman asked.

"In the kitchen I think." Just as Dean said that, Seth hobbled in on his crutches.

"Hey, brotha." He hugged Roman and told him to help himself to a beer.

The three men spent the evening talking about recovery and wrestling. They all had dinner, much to Dean's displeasure and watched random Wrestle Mania matches. It was just like old times. 

Dean felt extremely guilty. He had eaten half a large pizza and a portion of pasta all in the space of two days. He was disgusted in himself.

Once Roman had left and Seth had gone to bed, Dean sneaked into the bathroom and let out the contents of his stomach. The past two days where now in his friends toilet.

Dean brushed his teeth and got into bed with Seth. However he couldn't sleep. Constant thoughts kept whizzing around his pounding head. This was going to be a long night.


	11. It must be love - Part 11

Friday came around quite quickly. Dean felt as though he had only just left the hospital and now he was at the gym, preparing for FastLane. Seth had text him earlier on in the day asking for Dean to meet him at the Starbucks near the gym once he had finished working out. Dean was a little nervous to meet up with Seth since they hadn't yet talked to one another face to face today. Ambrose wasn't sure what mood his friend was in. He just hoped that Seth wasn't mad at him for stealing all his food and taking up his space.

Dean finished up at the gym after a three hour power workout. He was pushing himself to the limit. He needed to get into shape before Sunday. After showering, Dean headed over to Starbucks to meet up with Seth.

He saw the two-toned man at the back of the cafe with a cup of coffee. Dean decided not to order anything and sat opposite to Seth.

"Hey, how's your day been?" Seth asked taking a sip of his drink.

"It's alright. Just finished up at the gym, yours?" Ambrose sighed feeling exhausted from his previous exercise. 

"Yeah it's been okay, but hopefully it's about to get better." Seth smirked.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked.

"Well, there's this boy who I like and we're really close and I want to ask him out, but I don't know how." Seth's grin grew bigger. 

Dean felt his entire soul smash apart and slice up his body. Seth was in love with someone else. He had been lying to Dean the whole time. He didn't like him. He didn't love him.

"Hey Ambrose, you there?" Seth waved his hand in front of Dean's face in hopes to get his attention.

"Huh, what?"

"Help me out here dude. How do I ask someone to be my boyfriend?" Dean's heart broke at his friends words. He wanted to be Seth's boyfriend.

"Um, just ask him the question. Simple. Whoever it is, he's a lucky man." Dean sighed feeling tears well up in his eyes. He just wanted to go back to the gym and torture his body with more exercise.

"Okay so um, Dean will you be my boyfriend?" Seth asked catching Dean off guard.

"Wait, what?" Dean was surprised, but then he realized Seth was just rehearsing for his man. "Oh, you're practicing for the lucky man." Dean smirked, unhappy on the inside.

"What are you talking about Ambrose?" Seth was confused at Dean's behavior. He thought this was what Dean wanted.

"Yes Seth, I will be your boyfriend." Dean smiled. "Until you ask the other guy out."

"What other guy?" Seth asked.

"Y'know the one you were just talking about. The one who you like and want to ask out." Dean sighed.

"I was talking about you, dumb-ass." Seth laughed.

"What?"

"You're the person I like and want to ask out, silly. I was just trying to make the situation less awkward but that kinda backfired on me and you."

"Oh, right." Dean was shocked. Did Seth really mean that?

"So Dean Ambrose, will you be my boyfriend?" Seth asked smiling.

"Yes, I think I will." Dean blushed.

"Well, now that we've sorted that out, do you want a coffee?"

"Sure." Dean smirked.

Dean felt stupid for not knowing what Seth was talking about at the cafe. He couldn't stop thinking about what Seth must think of him. What if Seth thought that Dean was saying those confusing things because he didn't want to be his boyfriend? What if Seth broke up with him? Dean knew for a fact that if Seth ever broke up with him, Dean would no longer be living.

Seth was out at the bar with Roman for the night and Dean had the house all to himself. He was looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. He hadn't eaten anything today but for some reason he looked larger, fatter than what he did yesterday. His thighs were huge, they were ten times the size of Seth's. 

Dean didn't understand why Seth liked him. He was fat and ugly and had a horrible personality. Dean hated everything about himself. He took one more look at his body in the mirror and broke down. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be skinny like everybody else?

Dean wished that Roman hadn't of found him on the night he tried to commit suicide. The world would have been a much better place without him.

__________

Seth arrived home at 1 am to find Dean asleep in their bed. He looked so peaceful, cuddled up to himself under the duvet. Seth was one hell of a lucky man. He loved everything about Ambrose. He was gorgeous and he had an amazing personality. He always made Seth laugh and he had such a kind soul. 

Seth didn't understand why Dean was so self-conscious about his looks. The two-toned man wished he could have a body like his boyfriends. 

Seth got changed into his pajamas and got under the covers, snuggling up next to Dean.

Morning came and Seth awoke to an empty bed. He guessed that Dean had gone to the gym, since he likes to go there early in the morning. Seth grabbed his phone from the bedside table and saw that he had a text from Roman.

'Hey, can you let Dean know that I booked him a flight to Cleveland, Ohio for tonight at 6:30pm. I tried ringing him but he didn't pick up.'

Seth forgot that Dean had to leave for FastLane.

'Yeah I'll let him know when he gets back from the gym.'

Rollins decided to make himself some breakfast. His knee was getting better. He could walk on it without crutches but he had to wear a special brace, which was very uncomfortable.

He made himself some fried eggs on toast and ate the small meal rather quickly. Dean arrived home an hour after Seth woke up. He was sweating and breathing heavily, scaring Seth at first sight. He had spent three hours at the gym doing a constant power workout and then he jogged home. 

"How do you do it?" Seth laughed as he looked at his out of breath boyfriend.

"Just gotta have the right mind set. I'm gonna take a shower." Dean scowled smelling his armpits.

"Wait, don't I get a kiss first?" Seth joked.

"I think it would be better for you if I showered first." Ambrose laughed.

"Okay, well shower quickly."

"I'll try my best."

Once Dean had got out of the shower he got dressed and gave Seth the kiss he promised him earlier on. The two men sat together on the sofa, Dean's arm around Seth's shoulders.

"Oh, Roman text earlier, said he booked you a flight to Cleveland, Ohio tonight at 6:30pm for FastLane." Seth said.

"Oh cool. I'm gonna miss you." Dean pouted placing his head on his boyfriend's chest.

"I know, I'm gonna miss you too. I'll be watching you beat Roman and Lesnar's asses on live TV though so that's a good thing." Seth laughed. "We can face time before and after your match if you want."

"Yeah, I need your support. It's gonna be one hell of a match." Dean sighed. "I don't think I'm ready to go back to work and have everyone look at me weirdly."

"Hey, don't worry. Roman will beat up anyone who looks at you weird. The whole locker room loves you and they enjoy your company. When you were in hospital everyone was messaging Roman and asking how you were. I wish you could see that people actually like you and want you around." Seth gave Dean a big hug. The two men were lying down on the sofa now, limbs tangled and faces close together. Their lips collided together. Dean and Seth were enjoying their kiss until someone knocked on the front door and interrupted them.

Seth got off the sofa and opened the door to Roman. That's when he realized it was 4:45pm.

"Crap Dean, you gotta pack your bags." Seth shouted, worried that his boyfriend would miss his flight. He knew how long it took for Dean to pack. Roman laughed at Seth's unnecessary panic.

The three men worked together to get Ambrose's bags packed and managed to get it done by 5:20pm. Roman suggested that he and Dean left now so they wouldn't be late. This was the part Seth was dreading. Roman didn't know about their relationship, but Seth wanted to give Dean a kiss goodbye, so he did. Roman looked quite shocked but didn't say anything.

"Call me when you get to the hotel, okay? Be safe. I love you." Seth hugged Dean.

"I will. I love you too." Dean said. This was the first time the two men had told one another that they loved each other. They felt like it was the right moment.

Dean walked away and got into Roman's car. He waved goodbye to Seth as Roman pulled out of the drive way. There was a long silence as the two men made their way to the airport, but it was soon broken by Roman.

"So... you and Seth?"

Dean laughed awkwardly. This was going to be a long drive.


	12. Save me baby - Part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains spoilers for FastLane. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

The 3 hour flight to Cleveland was tiring for Dean and Roman. They both landed late Saturday night and passed out on the hotel beds before midnight.

Dean awoke feeling cranky. His bones ached all through out his body, which worried him as he had a big match tonight. Roman suggested that the two men headed to the gym for a few hours to wake Dean's body up. The blonde man happily agreed. After spending a few hours at the gym, they made their way to the arena.

Ambrose was nervous to see his fellow superstars and divas, as he hadn't seen most of them since before his suicide attempt. He knew the next few days would be awkward. What he didn't expect was all of his close friends greeting him with a 'surprise' as he entered the locker room.

There was a banner across the back wall reading 'Welcome back!' and a giant cake lay upon a table in the center of the room.

"Whoa, guy's. What the hell? I've only been gone for a week." Dean laughed in shock and happiness.

"Well, we missed you a lot buddy." Owens smiled giving his friend a hug. "It wasn't the same without you and your lame jokes. Now who wants some cake!" The whole locker room erupted in a cheer and Dean felt rather special. It was nice to know he was missed. Triple H and Stephanie walked into the room and instantly wrapped Dean in a hug.

"It's nice to see you breathing without a tube, Mr Ambrose." Hunter joked, making the rest of the locker room laugh. The majority of the afternoon went by with good vibes. Everyone was talking to Dean and making sure that he knew how much he was loved, which was nice to hear, but Dean knew they were only doing it because of what he did last Saturday. No one cares until something bad happens.

__________

The atmosphere in the arena was very tense. In less than an hour Dean would be facing his brother, Roman and the Beast, Brock Lesnar in a triple threat match. This was one of the biggest matches of Dean's career.

Ambrose was sat in the gorilla, focusing on his breathing. He and Seth had texted earlier on in the day, which made Dean feel calm but the stress and butterflies had returned. Not only was it his first match on TV for over a week, but it was also a match for a chance to become number 1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. The championship was something Dean had wanted since he was a kid. He had dreamed of becoming a wrestler and holding the title and now he had a chance to complete his dream.

Roman made his way over to Dean but they did not speak. The two men made small eye contact before Dean made his way out to the ring. He knew Seth was watching and that made him even more nervous than before. The other contestants entered the ring and the match began.

The brothers worked together at the start of the match, but greed started to get the better of them both. Once Lesnar was out of the way Roman got the pin on Ambrose. Dean's hopes and dreams of becoming the champ were completely crushed by non other than his best friend, his brother. Dean was not happy.

Returning backstage was hard for Dean. He didn't want anyone to see him for who he really was, a useless loser. The distraught man made his way to the locker room without making eye contact with anyone. He got changed and hurried to the men's bathroom. In there he was met with Roman. The Samoan looked rather smug.

"Yeah yeah, just rub it in my face. You're better than me. Big deal! It's not like I already knew that." Dean sulked.

"Aww Dean, don't get so sad. You only lost one of the biggest matches of your career, no big deal." Roman mocked the sad man.

"Stop being a dick."

"Stop being a psychopath" Roman retorted. "No wonder nobody likes you. You tried to kill yourself. You're dangerous. Honestly, I don't know what Seth sees in you. He's done nothing but pity you since day one." The Samoan snarled, walking out of the bathroom and leaving Dean a sobbing mess.

Ambrose knew that Roman was right. Sometimes he wondered the same thing. What did Seth see in him? Was it all just pity? Dean knew that he couldn't stay at the arena much longer, so he wiped away his tears, blew his nose and called for a taxi.

Once Dean got back to the hotel room he took a shower and called Seth. His lover picked up on the first ring.

"Hey baby, that was a great match. Are you okay?" Hearing Seth's voice sent Dean over the edge. He just wanted to be in his boyfriends arms.

"N-no." Dean sobbed.

"Whoa, calm down babe. What's wrong?" Seth asked sounding worried.

"R-roman was really mean t-to me after the match."

"Really? What did he say?"

"He said that I was a psychopath and that I was dangerous and he said that you were only with me because you pitied me." Dean cried even harder, hiccuping at the loss of breath.

"Hey, none of that is true okay? You know that I love you because you're you. And you're not a psychopath, he's just trying to get to your head. I'll have a word with him later." Seth sounded mad.

"O-okay. I love you." Dean sniffled.

"I love you too baby, get some rest and promise me you wont do anything stupid?"

"I promise I wont. I'm just gonna go to bed."

"Okay, Night sweetie." Seth always knew how to put a smile on Dean's face.

"G'night."

__________

Getting up on Monday morning was a struggle for Dean. His body ached all over from last nights match and his stomach felt like it was being squashed, he couldn't remember the last time he'd ate. His body was weak to the point of breaking point. Standing up without getting head rush was literally impossible for Dean. The boy was constantly dizzy.

He finally managed to drag himself out of bed and head to the gym. Dean had been working out for an hour, when he was approached by Brock Lesnar.

"Hey man, that was a good match last night." Brock smiled.

"Thanks, you did good." Dean felt awkward as hell.

"Thanks, I'm just bummed that Roman won." Brock laughed.

"Me too." Dean smiled.

"Well, if you need anything just give me a call." The Beast said as he walked away. Dean had no idea what that was about. He had never even talked to Brock before.

Ambrose continued his workout for a few more hours, took a shower and made his way to the arena for RAW. As soon as he entered the locker room he was greeted with AJ Styles.

"Hey dude, that was an awesome match last night." AJ smiled.

"Thanks man. Your match was awesome too."

The two men got changed into their ring gear and made their way to catering. Dean had never had a proper conversation with AJ, but he was glad he had someone to talk to. AJ grabbed himself a plate of food and sat down. Dean looked at the warm food but all he could see was fat. He grabbed an apple and sat down next to Styles.

"You not hungry?" AJ asked scoffing down his meal.

"Nah, I had a big breakfast." Dean smiled.

"So I was wondering, do you wanna go to the gym together tomorrow? I just thought it would be cool if we could hang out and get to know each other more." Dean was shocked that someone wanted to hang out with him.

"Yeah, sure." Dean smiled. The two talked for another hour before AJ left for his match.

Dean was really confused with himself. For some reason he took an instant liking to AJ, which is something that had only ever happened to him with Seth. He actually wanted to got to the gym with AJ tomorrow and he was excited about it. Really excited. What was going on in his head?

On the other side of the arena Roman was sulking over the phone call he had just received. Seth had called the Samoan and told him off because of what he had said to Dean. Roman knew he over reacted a bit, but he no longer wanted Dean in his way and if Dean even tried to get involved with Roman, it wouldn't end well for the blonde haired man.


	13. You kill me in a good way - Part 13

Roman was walking through the backstage corridors. He was on a mission. That mission being: Teach Dean Ambrose a lesson. The Samoan was fed up of Dean taking the spotlight. Ever since he tried to commit suicide everyone in the locker room has been all over him and it's easy to see that Dean loves the attention. He wanted it. That's why he tried to kill himself. For attention. This angered Roman even more.

He found Dean in the locker room and went straight in for the kill. Roman pushed his ex-friend to the ground and straddled him, punching his face multiple times as hard as he could. The weak boy underneath him didn't fight bag for he had no physical or mental strength.

It took more than six men to pull Roman off. The Samoan made sure he beat Dean long enough so that the attention whore would bleed. Ambrose's nose was pouring with blood and he was still laying on the floor, not making a single move. AJ kneeled next to his friend and checked to make sure he was okay, before the doctor entered the room.

Roman was taken into an empty room on the opposite side of the arena to 'cool down.' He knew that what he did would have consequences, but it was worth it.

Dean was cleaned up by the doctors and told that he had a broken nose. However that was the least of his worries. He now had a meeting with his boss and Roman, about what happened and he knew he would get all the blame for it. Dean arrived at Triple H's office and knocked on the door.

"Come in." He heard Hunter shout. "Hello Mr Ambrose, take a seat. How's your nose?" Hunter asked as Dean entered the room.

"It's been better." Dean mumbled trying not to make eye contact with Roman.

"Now you two know why you're here so lets get on with it. Why were you guys fighting?" Triple H asked. No one answered. "Don't make me ask you again!"

"I don't know Sir, Roman just attacked me." Dean shrugged looking towards the ground.

"Is that true Roman?"

"Yes." Roman answered simply.

"Okay and is there any reason why you attacked Dean?"

"No."

"Right well, whether you like it or not, the both of you have been given a formal warning so if this happens again, you can say a big, fat goodbye to this company." Hunter told them firmly.

"But I didn't do an-" Dean was interrupted.

"Well, obviously you did something otherwise he wouldn't have beat you up!" Hunter shouted making Dean jump. "Now both of you get out of my office!"

The two men stormed out. Dean headed straight for the hotel. He knew what he was gonna do tonight.

__________

Dean had bought a bottle of Vodka and a six pack of beers on his way to the hotel. He didn't want to think about what had happened and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, so instead he decided to get drunk.

Four of the beers and half of the Vodka had already made it's way into Dean's bloodstream. It felt good to feel numb. Dean took another mouthful of the Vodka before grabbing his lighter from his bag and twisting it around in his hands. He thought about what he was doing for a second, but then he realized that it felt good the last time he did it and it would probably feel even better if he did it right now, so he did.

Dean brought the lighter up to his wrist and ignited the flame. The stress of the previous day had completely disappeared from his soul and his body. He was free once again.

Tuesday morning was rough. Dean had the worst hangover and his wrist stung badly. He wiped the sleep from his eyes and got up to get some painkillers. The pills helped sooth his headache and he was somewhat ready to function. He turned on his phone to see that he had a text from AJ.

'Good morning, we still on for the gym today? :)'

Dean looked at the time and saw that it was 11 O'clock, hopefully AJ hadn't gone to the gym without him.

'Hey, yeah I just need to shower. Meet you in 30 mins? :)'

'Yeah that's cool, see you in a bit :P'

Dean showered as fast as he could and dressed in his best gym clothes. He wanted AJ to like him for some reason. The guy was really kind and caring, which was something Dean needed right now. AJ was waiting for Dean outside the gym. The two men started working on the weights.

"So, how are you after yesterday?" AJ asked remembering the problems with Roman.

"I'm good, I just hope I don't bump into Roman later on." Dean smiled. "How are you doing today?"

"I feel phenomenal." Both men laughed. "I've been wanting to say that to you for a long time." AJ smiled.

"That was so un-creative, but I'll give you credit for it if it makes you feel better."

"Shut up." Dean could tell AJ was joking when he said that, which was something that didn't happen a lot. He felt happy when he was around the 'Phenomenal one.'

The two men had been working out for a while when AJ noticed the mark on Dean's arm.

"Hey, what happened to your arm? It looks like a burn." AJ asked, concerned for his friend.

"Oh um, it's just a rash." Dean lied, looking away.

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a rash."

Dean got nervous and walked away from his friend. He made his way to the bathroom and realized that he had been crying. AJ joined him a few seconds later.

"Sorry man, I- hey are you crying?" AJ came closer to Dean and gave him a hug, soothing him as he let out his emotions.

"S-sorry." Dean cried into his friends shoulder.

"It's okay, don't worry." AJ's voice calmed the younger man down instantly. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"I-I just get sad sometimes." Dean sniffled burying his head into AJ's chest. The warm scent comforted Dean.

"Everyone gets sad sometimes. It's completely normal. But you need to know how to control it. Call me whenever you're sad, okay? I'll always be happy to talk to you. Just promise me you wont hurt yourself again?"

"I promise." Dean looked up into AJ's eyes. The two men stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before AJ moved closer and placed his lips onto Dean's.

Ambrose was shocked. The realization of what was happening confused him, but also made him feel guilty. Surely this counted as cheating? He didn't want to be a cheater. Seth didn't deserve that. Dean quickly pulled away, eyes wide and left AJ alone in the bathroom. He needed to get away from everyone for a while, so he made his way back to the hotel.

AJ didn't know how to react to Dean's reaction. He thought that Dean wanted to kiss him. The way the two had been acting together lately made it obvious that they liked each other more than just friends. Maybe Dean was just a bit surprised. AJ felt bad for putting his friend in that situation, but he was also proud of himself for letting his feelings for Dean become known. AJ would see Dean at the SmackDown taping and would talk to him then, but in the meantime he needed to work out.

Dean was confused. He liked AJ but he also liked Seth. How is it possible to want to be with more than one person. He knew it would be unfair on Seth if anything happened between himself and AJ, but Dean wanted to get closer to AJ. He knew that he would have to chose between the two men, but there was no way he was going to break up with Seth for AJ after only knowing him for a few days. Dean had a lot to think about.

The hours passed by pretty quickly for the blonde haired man and before he knew it he was back in the locker room getting changed into his ring gear. He tried to ignore everyone, because right now his head was all over the place.

Once the show was over he headed to the men's bathroom to 'relieve' himself, but before he could get his pants down AJ walked into the room. The two men traded awkward looks before Dean spoke.

"I'm not mad at you, I just need some time alone."

"Oh, yeah I completely understand. Just call me y'know if you want to talk or if you need anything. I'm around." AJ exited the bathroom and Dean continued with his business. 

He needed sit down with AJ and have a long conversation about everything that had happened this morning, but he could wait until tomorrow to do that. For the meantime Dean was heading to the hotel and going to bed.


	14. Phone calls and awkward conversations - Part 14

The warm glow of the sun awoke Dean, early on Wednesday morning. His body felt refreshed after a good nights sleep. He knew that he didn't have to get up for a few more hours, so he grabbed his phone and turned it on only to see that he had a text from Seth.

'Morning sunshine, how are you today? xxx' 

Dean's heart melted at the text. His boyfriend was so kind and thoughtful.

'Good morning to you too gorgeous. I'm feeling great, how about you? xxx'

'I'm feeling good too. I've got a hospital appointment for my knee today and then I'm gonna have a movie marathon with myself xxx'

'Aww, don't watch all the movies today. I wanna watch some with you tomorrow xxx'

'Don't worry, I'll save a few for you. I've been waiting to see you for ages! Hurry up and come home, I miss you xxx'

'I miss you too. Not long until I get to hold you in my arms xxx'

'I can't wait xxxx'

'Me either. Text me later on and let me know how your hospital appointment goes. I love you xxxxxxx'

'I will. I Love you too xxxxxxx'

Dean missed Seth a lot. He didn't feel whole if he wasn't with his boyfriend. He knew that he needed to sort things out with AJ for Seth's sake. It wasn't fair on the two-toned man that his boyfriend had kissed someone else. The guilt constantly circled through Dean's body. He needed to make things right. For himself. For Seth.

'Hey, meet come to my hotel room in 20 mins. I'm on floor 2, room 47a.' 

Dean knew this was going to be a hard conversation, but he had to be the bigger person. He had to sort things out with AJ before it was too late.

'Okay.'

AJ arrived early. It was very clear that he wanted to see Dean. The two men greeted each other and made their way over to the sofa.

"Do you want a drink?" Dean asked trying to make everything less awkward.

"Nah, I'm good thanks." AJ smiled shyly. "So, how are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

The conversation held a lot of emotion and the two men didn't know how to control their feelings towards one another. AJ had a lot of things that he needed to get off of his chest, so he took now as his opportunity to do so.

"Will you go out with me?" Dean was shocked by his friends sudden question. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's obvious that you don't like me." AJ looked upset and Dean felt extremely guilty.

"No, I um. I like you but I- uhh." Dean didn't know how to tell AJ.

"It's fine you don't have to lie to make me feel better."

"No seriously, I like you but I can't date you." Dean sighed.

"Why not?"

"Because I have a boyfriend." Both men grew silent. The tension in the room became stronger. AJ was the first to speak.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. If I'd have known I wouldn't have kissed you."

"It's okay."

"Who is it?" AJ asked, sounding distraught.

"Seth."

"Oh, that makes sense. You guys have always been close."

"Yeah." Dean felt like he had broken their friendship.

"Well, I should probably get going." AJ stood up from the couch, only to be stopped by Dean who stood up next to him.

Dean didn't know why, but he wanted to do this. He moved closer to AJ and placed his hand on his friends cheek. The two men stared into each others eyes for what felt like forever, before Dean finally made his move and placed his lips onto AJ's.

AJ was confused by Dean. He had a boyfriend but he was kissing him. AJ didn't want to waste his only chance of being this intimate with Dean, so he started to kiss back and placed his hands on Dean's hips.

The two men continued to kiss. The small innocent peck from Dean quickly changed into a fully heated make out session. AJ pushed Ambrose down onto the sofa and straddled his friend. They continued to make love until they physically couldn't breathe. AJ then pressed small kisses to Dean's neck.

The only noise that could be heard in the room was the heavy breathing from the two men. They were both cuddled up together on the sofa, enjoying the moment.

"Why'd you kiss me?" AJ asked.

"I don't know. I just wanted to." Dean replied, stroking AJ's hair.

"What about Se-"

"He doesn't need to know."

"Okay."

__________

Dean and AJ headed to the gym once they had finished cuddling on the sofa. They were now at the arena getting prepared for their matches. Dean had a match against Kofi Kingston and then he had a segment with Brock. AJ's match involved teaming up with Chris Jericho and fighting against Heath Slater and Adam Rose.

Both men were tired and wanted nothing more than to go to bed, but they had work to do. Dean had to catch a flight at 6am the next morning so he could spend the day with Seth in Iowa, so he needed as much sleep as possible.

The night went smoothly, Dean won his match and AJ won his match. The two men parted at the hotel and said goodnight to one another. Dean had exactly four hours to sleep and he wasn't going to waste any of them. He got to his room and headed straight to bed, not bothering to take his clothes off.

Seth had text Dean telling him about his hospital appointment and asking him how he was, but he didn't reply. Seth thought that his boyfriend was probably busy or asleep. He could always talk to him about it tomorrow, so there was no reason for Seth to stay awake and worry. The two-toned man got into bed and set his alarm for 10:30am. This meant he could get up an hour before Dean arrived and tidy up the house a bit.

Dean awoke at 4am and got ready for his flight. He told Seth he would be home for 11am, but his flight actually landed at 9:30am. Dean hoped that Seth would be asleep when he got there so that the two of them could snuggle up and sleep.

Luckily for Dean, Seth was asleep when he arrived. Dean took off his shoes and got into bed, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Seth sleepily nuzzled his head into Dean's chest without waking. It was moments like this where Dean felt guilty for the things he had done with AJ, but right now he wanted to forget about his friend and focus on the only person who mattered. Seth.

Seth awoke to the sound of his alarm, he reached over to turn it off only to realize that he was lying on top of his boyfriend. For a second Seth thought he was dreaming, but then Dean woke up.

"Morning beautiful." Dean smiled, giving Seth a small kiss.

"Morning, what are you doing here so early?" Seth asked.

"I lied and told you a later time. I wanted to surprise you with cuddles."

"Aww! You're so cute." The two men spent another hour in bed, enjoying each others company.

"So what do you wanna do today?" Seth asked.

"I dunno, as long as I'm with you I'm happy." Dean smiled.

"Do you wanna get some breakfast?"

"Yeah." Dean didn't know how breakfast was gonna work. He had literally eaten nothing for days and he somehow had to hold a whole meal down. He knew he had to do it. He didn't want Seth to know about his 'diet.'

The two men headed downstairs to look through the cupboards. When they were un-entertained by the three boxes of cereal in Seth's cupboard, they decided to grab breakfast at a near by cafe. Seth and Dean both ordered a full English breakfast.

Dean felt full after eating a piece of bacon and a spoonful of beans, but he knew he had to continue eating. He managed to finish off the beans, eat half of the egg and eat the sausage. Seth on the other hand devoured the whole thing.

"So, do you wanna go see a movie?" Seth asked taking a sip of his milkshake.

"Yeah, is there anything good on?"

"The Revenant is supposed to be pretty good."

"Okay, let's go watch that."

The cinema was only a ten minute walk away from the cafe. It gave the two men some time to bond before the film. Luckily there was a showing five minutes after they arrived, so they didn't have to wait long.

Both men enjoyed the film. Leonardo DiCaprio acted very well. (I swear to god if he doesn't win an Oscar tonight... ;D)

"Should we head home?" Dean asked, feeling nauseous.

"Yeah. I rented out a few films for us to watch." Seth smiled holding Dean's hand all the way home.

They arrived home and headed straight for the sofa. Seth put 'Scott Pilgrim vs the world' on and the two men snuggled up and watched the movie.

Seth ordered pizza for dinner. The two men ate half each. They watched another movie before getting into bed.

"Y'know, today has been one of the best days of my life." Seth smiled sleepily against Dean's chest.

"Yeah, mine too. I love you." 

"I love you too." Seth whispered falling asleep almost instantly. 

Dean watched his boyfriend sleep. He knew it was a strange thing to do, but he loved to see Seth so calm and relaxed. Dean was about to fall asleep when his phone buzzed. He grabbed it to see that AJ had text him.

'Hey babe, hope you've had a good day. See you tomorrow x'

Dean wasn't sure what to reply. His boyfriend was asleep in his arms and he was reading a text from someone else that he liked. Was he really cheating on Seth? The guilt once again consumed Dean. Not only the guilt from cheating on Seth, but the guilt from eating too much.

Dean got out of the bed without waking Seth and headed to the bathroom. He quickly brought up all of the food he had eaten today before once again grabbing his phone. He decided to text AJ back.

'Hey, my day's been good. Hope you're okay x'

Ambrose didn't want to see if AJ replied, so he simply turned off his phone and got back into bed. He fell asleep instantly.

__________

Seth awoke before Dean to the smell of vomit. He leaned closer to Dean's mouth to take a whiff and to confirm that it was in fact his boyfriends breath. Seth was confused to say the least. Had Dean been sick in the night? There was no vomit on him or on the covers though.

Seth decided to go downstairs and make himself a bowl of cereal. He knew that Dean would be leaving in a few hours, but he didn't want his boyfriend to leave.

Dean felt exhausted even though he had only just woke up. He felt around the bed to find that Seth wasn't there. He got up and made his way downstairs. Seth was in the kitchen.

"Hey Dean, sleep well?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, I'm till tired though." Dean stretched.

"Aww! Are you sick? It's just that you were breathing in my face this morning and it smelt like vomit."

"Oh, thanks for the compliment." Dean laughed.

"Seriously, are you sick?" Seth sighed.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Then why does your breath smell like vomit?"

"I don't know!" Dean yelled becoming angry.

"Look, is it something to do with food. I saw the empty food packets on the kitchen floor the night you were sick at the hotel. Are you still having problems?"

"What are you talking about? Do you think I'm some sort of psycho?" Dean was fuming, his face going red from anger.

"No of course I don't. Calm down!" Seth was also getting mad over the situation.

"Since day one all you've done is pity me. You don't even love me. You only started dating me because I tried to kill myself!" The room went silent. Both men had tears in their eyes.

"Dean-" Seth whimpered.

"No, forget it. I gotta get to the airport." Dean left the room and grabbed his suitcase. He put his shoes on and opened the front door. Seth came out into the hallway.

"Dean?" Seth whispered.

"What?"

"I love you." A tear rolled down Seth's face. He felt like the worst boyfriend ever. Dean came over to him and kissed him on the forehead.

"I love you too." He whispered before leaving. 

Seth's heart broke at the departure of his loved one.

Dean knew that he had over-reacted and that he needed to apologies, but he thought it would be best for the both of them if he just left. They could talk to each other on the phone later, but for now they just needed some space.


	15. Splintered between two states - Part 15

Dean had a lot of time to think when he was on the plane. He realized that he had most definitely over-reacted at Seth. His boyfriend was just looking out for him, after all. 

Dean was on his way to the gym to meet AJ. They had a few hours before they had to be at the arena, so they decided to spend it working out. AJ was already at the building when Dean got there. The two men headed over to the rowing machines and started a conversation.

"So, what's been going on with you?" AJ asked.

"Nothing much. Me and Seth had an argument this morning so I just got an early flight to get away from it all." Dean sighed.

"Oh, does it have anything to do with-"

"No, it doesn't involve you. Don't worry." 

"Okay. Y'know you don't have to do this for me. You love Seth and I-"

"Hey, I don't know why but I want to be with you. I just don't want to break up with Seth."

"I know you don't. It must be hard for you. I'm sorry for putting you in this situation." AJ sighed.

"Hey I'm as big to blame as you." Dean laughed.

The two men finished of their work out and headed to the arena. They had a live house show tonight. Dean would be in a match against Luke Harper and AJ was teaming up with Jericho to fight The New Day. It was only a small match for Dean, so he wasn't too worried about anything bad happening. He just hoped that he didn't bump into Roman. So far he had gone 3 days without speaking to him.

"Dean you're up in 5." Shouted one of the referees. 

Dean headed to the gorilla and prepared for his match. After the five minutes had passed, he made his way out to the ring. The fans were going crazy for him. In that moment he felt very special. He managed to pick up the win by pinning Harper and even put him through a table. AJ lost his match, but it didn't bother him. He had been in the industry so long, that a few loses didn't bother him.

The two men made their way back to AJ's hotel room and took it in turns to shower. Once both men were showered they sat down on the sofa and put some TV on.

AJ straddled Dean's lap as soon as the adverts came on. His mouth nipping at all reachable areas on Ambrose's neck. Both men were moaning loudly. Dean stood up and carried AJ over to the bed, laying on top of him as he smothered the brown haired man in kisses. Their clothes were off within seconds.

It was all Dean could have asked for. He had lost his man virginity to AJ, someone he cared for and trusted very much. He felt guilty for cheating on Seth, but he didn't let it spoil the moment. Both men lay in bed, sweating. The only noise that could be heard was the sharp gusts of breath escaping both men. AJ was the first to speak.

"That was phenomenal."

"Oh God! Never say that again." Dean laughed. All of his previous tension had been swapped for love and passion.

__________

Dean awoke in AJ's arms. He watched the older man as he slept. He has never felt this much love for someone, not even Seth. Dean knew the right thing to do was to break up with Seth, but he didn't want to upset him and he definitely didn't want to upset himself. He loved both men. He knew that one day he would have to choose between the two of them but today was not that day. Today was Saturday.

The day went by rather quickly. Both men went to the gym and grabbed some lunch before heading to the arena for the live show. Dean had been in a good mood all day, that was until he saw Roman. Nothing happened between the two men, but the tension in the air really brought Dean's mood down.

Dean had a rematch with Harper and beat him with ease. They had, had numerous matches together before so they knew each others moves. Dean even knew the counters to Luke's counters. They had a great in-ring bond.

AJ and Dean shared a hotel room for the night. Sunday came by in a flash. One minute Dean was getting into bed Saturday night to sleep and the next it was Sunday afternoon. The live show was in a few hours so Dean headed to the gym. Once he got back to the hotel, his phone rang. It was Seth.

"Hello." Dean greeted his boyfriend awkwardly.

"Hey, um are we still okay?" Seth asked sounding upset.

"Uhh, yeah. Why?" Dean had forgotten about their previous fight.

"Oh um, just cuz y'know what happened on Friday. I wasn't sure if um, y'know."

"Well, let's just put that behind us. I over-reacted and I'm sorry." Dean smiled.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you to talk."

"We're both sorry and we're both okay. So how's your weekend been?"

"Good I guess. Just been at rehab for my knee and at home being bored." Seth sighed.

"Aww. If you're ever bored you know you can just ring me or do that face-time thing. You don't have to be alone."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't want to bother you all the time."

"You won't be bothering me. I'm your boyfriend. I should be with you to stop you from being bored. It's my job." Dean laughed.

"You're right." Seth giggled. "Next time I'm bored I'll call you."

"Good. I love hearing your voice."

"I love you"

"I love you too."

"I'll see you on Thursday." Seth smiled.

"Yeah, I can't wait."

Dean met up with AJ and went to the arena. The matches were good and both men enjoyed their night. Dean felt guilty that Seth was all alone, especially when he was injured. He wanted to fly over to Iowa and give his lover a hug, but sadly he couldn't do that until Thursday.

__________

RAW was on Monday. Dean and AJ were in their ring gear waiting for the show to start. Dean suddenly remembered that he had eaten lunch on Saturday. Technically it wasn't February any more, so he didn't have to worry about his 'no eating' month plan, but that didn't stop him from feeling guilty. He made his way to the trainers room and stepped on the scale.

13.6 stone. In other words 190.4 pounds. If he hadn't of eaten that meal on Saturday then he could have weighed a pound less. Dean looked in the mirror only to see his fat thighs sticking out. His stomach was huge. He didn't understand why he looked like this. He just wanted to be skinny like everyone else.

Dean made his way to the gorilla, feeling numb. He wanted to get his match over with so he could go home and hide from the world. He was fighting against Sheamus. The match was going well until Triple H interfered and attacked Dean. The referees tried to separate the two men but failed. Dean couldn't move, his body was too weak. He lay on the announcers table as his boss beat him. Then he blacked out.

AJ was in the back worrying about Dean. The referees were helping his friend walk to the doctors room. AJ knew he couldn't show his worry too much as people might get suspicious over the two men. He wanted Dean all to himself but he didn't want him to break up with Seth. That wasn't fair on any of them.

Seth on the other hand was sat on his sofa with tears in his eyes. Ever since the argument he'd had with Dean all he did was cry. It was a hard time for him and all he wanted to do was be back in the ring. He wanted to travel around the world with Dean. Seth was also worried for Dean. Triple H had given him a rough beating. Hopefully everything would turn out okay. All three men needed it right now.


	16. Take me away - Part 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short! I've been having trouble writing recently and I'm trying to get back into the zone. Thanks for reading and enjoy.

The darkness surrounded his frail body. Nothing covered his pale skin as he stared into the mirror, the only light was that of the moon. His reflection brought nothing but pain to him. 

The bulky fat of his thighs stood out among the rest. When he wore jeans you could see that the hem was about to break because his thighs were so large. He wore one of the biggest waist sizes as well, yet they were still too small.

His stomach was also something he didn't like. You could see rolls of fat every time he lifted his shirt up. It was similar to his thighs, which is why he didn't like his stomach.

He had permanent purple bags under his eyes. His skin was pale and pasty. He had a small double chin forming. His face was covered in acne and wrinkles. Dean hated everything about his face.

His hair was falling out. He would wake up each morning to find clumps of his hair laying on the pillow. When the parting of his hair was styled a certain way, you could see a bold patch on the top of his head. Dean was really self conscious about that. How embarrassing is it to have your hair fall out at the age of 30?

He felt like he was always rude to everyone as well. He pushed people away and treated them badly. Roman was the main example of that, Seth would probably be the next. Him and Seth hadn't talked much recently. Even when they called one another, the conversations would only last for five minutes at the maximum. Dean knew that he was pushing Seth away because of the guilt that he was feeling. He had cheated on his boyfriend. How low could he possibly sink?

What was the point of him being here? All he did was ruin peoples lives. He was surprised that Seth or AJ hadn't broken up with him yet. It was only a matter of time.

Dean looked away from the mirror and put one of AJ's shirts on. He needed the comfort. He got back into bed and kept his distance from AJ. He didn't want the man to feel over-crowded, but AJ thought different. He pulled Dean closer and embraced him lovingly. All the previous negative thoughts Dean had, vanished within seconds when he was in the arms of his loved one.

__________

SmackDown was on Tuesday night and Dean had a match against Kevin Owens. He was still in extreme pain from the night before when Triple H attacked him, but he was willing to fight. The crowd cheered him as he got the pin on Owens. In the back his friend congratulated him on his win and gave him a smile. Dean was grateful that he had Kevin as a friend. No matter what happened Owens always stayed by his side.

Roman was off because of a nose injury, so Dean didn't have to worry about him for a week or so, but he was still scared to walk the corridors alone. Luckily he had AJ to escort him from room to room and when AJ was in a match, Owens would keep him company.

Dean had never realized how lucky he was to have friends. He would do anything for them. The day went quick for Dean and before he knew it he was back in bed with AJ.

Wednesday was similar to Tuesday. Wake up, work out, wrestle, go to bed.

Dean was excited for Thursday, because he got to see Seth. The two men spent the day watching movies and catching up on gossip. They both apologized to each other, again, for the argument they had, had the week before and they were stronger than ever. However the love Dean had for Seth didn't stop him from secretly texting AJ through out the day. Life was about to get a lot tougher.


	17. You found me, just a little late - Part 17

Dean left Seth's house on Friday morning, this time without an argument, and made his way to the airport. He was flying out to Ohio for a live house show. The next three days would be rather boring as there was no TV time for Dean. He just had three small, simple matches with random people. Tonight he was fighting against Wade Barrett, Saturday he was against Sheamus and Sunday he had a rematch with Alberto Del Rio. The weekend was going to drag, but at least he had AJ to keep him company.

Dean arrived in Ohio and met AJ at the airport. The two men traveled straight to their hotel room to drop off their bags and then made their way to the gym. Dean started on the punching bag.

"So how was your day off?" AJ asked.

"Well, we literally spoke via text the who time so I don't know why you're asking me that." Dean laughed. "But yeah, it was good."

"That's cool. Not gonna lie, I wish you had spent the day with me and not Seth yesterday."

"I know, but I'm in a strange situation right now and I'm kind of stuck on what to do." Dean sighed. "I love Seth and I don't want to break up with him, but I also love you and I don't want to lose you. Plus I see you six days a week and I only see Seth once a week."

"Yeah I know. I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. It must be stressful for you, it's my fault for kissing you and starting the whole thing." AJ looked upset.

"Hey." Dean patted his lover's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. We're in this together." Both men smiled and carried on with their work out.

The arena had a spooky vibe to it. Everyone was acting strange and giving Dean weird looks. He guessed it was because he had put on so much weight.

"Hey AJ, do I look fat?" Dean asked feeling self conscious.

"Are you kidding me? Of course you don't look fat, you're one of the skinniest guys on the roster." AJ laughed thinking Dean was joking.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better." Dean sulked as he got changed into his ring gear.

"Dude, I don't lie about things like that. You're not fat so never ask that question again. In fact, hey Jey, come over here a second." AJ shouted for Jey Uso to join the two men. "I have a question for you."

"Okay, fire ahead." Jey smiled.

"Be honest. Do you think Dean is fat? Because he just asked me the same question."

"Are you serious dog? You ain't fat." Jey replied patting Dean on the shoulder.

"Thanks Jey." Dean smiled.

"What made you think that anyway?" AJ asked.

"I don't know, just people looking at me strange, and stuff on the internet." Dean shrugged.

"Hey don't worry about anyone but yourself." Jey smiled walking away.

"He's right y'know. Don't listen to what other people say. Just believe in yourself." AJ gave Dean a hug, luckily they were the only two in the locker room, so nobody saw their intimacy.

"I love you." Dean whispered into the hug.

"I love you too." AJ replied.

Dean felt a lot better about himself and managed to win his match. Him and AJ headed back to the hotel and got into bed, falling into a much needed sleep.

__________

Saturday and Sunday were just repeats of the previous day. Dean won all of his matches. Monday was however, a bit different. 

Dean was in a match against Bray Wyatt. He almost had it won, when Hunter's music started playing. The Wyatt family attacked Dean until Triple H entered the ring. Dean didn't want a repeat of last week so he used every bit of strength left in his body and dirty deeds his boss. 

The atmosphere in the back was pretty tense. Dean was trying to keep his distance from the authority as he didn't want to get in trouble for hurting Hunter. AJ was arguing with Jericho about what happened after their match and Dean just wanted to leave, so he did.

He made it back to the hotel within minutes of leaving the arena. His brain was all over the place. He knew he was in trouble for breaking the script and attacking his boss, but he didn't want to get hurt. He was already in enough pain. He had never seen AJ shout before and in all honesty it scared him. Dean got in the shower and had a wash. Once he got out he got dressed and sat against the wall. He didn't want to face the world just yet. AJ would be home soon.

Dean preferred sitting in the steamy bathroom with the locked door. He looked into the mirror opposite himself and cringed at what he saw in the reflection.

Pathetic. Fat. Ugly. Waste of space. Why would anyone want you?

Tears started to fall down his face as he thought about all the reasons why he shouldn't be on this earth. There was no point in him being here. He ruined everything. Seth and AJ only pitied him, they didn't like him. The guilt and anger circled roughly through Dean's mind. The world around him started to spin and he couldn't feel anything. 

Once he had finally calmed down he saw that his fist was covered in blood. He was confused at first but then he saw the shattered mirror on the floor. 

"Dean?"

Dean looked up to see AJ standing in the doorway. The lock on the door had been broken from the outside. 

"What happened? I heard screaming." A look of concern filled AJ's eyes. AJ moved into the room and crouched down next to Dean. "Are you okay?" He asked seeing the broken mirror and the blood on Dean's hands.

Dean didn't know what had happened. He had blacked out and apparently trashed the bathroom. He shuffled towards AJ, who held him in a warm embrace.

"Shh, it's okay." AJ whispered rocking Dean back and forth as he cried.

"I-I do-on't know w-what happened." Dean sobbed.

"Don't worry, just calm down." AJ said stroking his lover's hair. "Are you hurt?"

"N-not really." Dean sniffed.

"Okay, well I'm gonna need to clean up your hand and take a good look at it to make sure it's not cut up too bad."

AJ stood up bringing Dean with him and sitting him on the toilet seat. He grabbed the fist aid kit and started cleaning the blood off of Dean's hand.

"Did you punch the mirror?" AJ asked.

"I don't know." Dean mumbled burying his head into AJ's chest.

"What do you mean? Did you bang your head?"

"No."

"Well, what happened?"

"I don't fucking know!" Dean shouted as he cried in pain.

"Okay, okay I'm sorry. It's fine, just calm down." AJ sighed wiping Dean's cuts with an antiseptic wipe. "I think you might need to go to the hospital and get stitches for one of these cuts."

"Nah, it'll be fine."

"We'll see how it is later on." AJ said as he bandaged up his friends hand. "Come on let's go sit down on the sofa." The two men made their way to the living space of the hotel room. AJ was worried for Dean and he wanted to know what had really happened in the bathroom.

"So what happened before you cut up your hand?"

"I don't remember. I was just about to leave the bathroom after my shower and then I started crying and kinda just blacked out. Then I saw the blood and got confused."

"Why were you crying?" AJ asked.

"I-I" Dean stuttered not sure whether he should answer the question or not. "I saw myself in the mirror."

"Why would that make you cry? Do you have a problem with your appearance?"

Dean nodded.

"What kind of problem?"

Dean shrugged.

"Dean if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong then how am I supo-" AJ was cut of by Dean's harsh sobs.

"I don't wan-na be h-here." Dean cried, hyperventilating.

"What do you mean?"

"I hate myself. I don't wanna be m-me."

"Why? You're the most perfect person on this earth." AJ placed his hands o the sides of Dean's face. 

"No, I'm not."

"Listen to me Mr Ambrose. You are amazing. I love everything about you and if you left this world, then I would follow you. You're not getting away from me that easily." AJ smiled. "Do you wanna get into bed?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, come on let's get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

"I love you." Dean whispered into AJ's arms.

"I love you too, my gorgeous boy." 

__________

Dean awoke to an empty bed. He saw a note on the bedside table from AJ saying that he had gone out for a bit and would be back soon. Dean had a sudden urge to talk to Roman. He didn't know why, but he really wanted to talk to his old friend, so he dialed in his number and pressed call.

"Hello?" Roman greeted not realizing it was Dean.

"Hey Roman, it's Dean."

"What do you want?" The Samoan's voice sounded mad.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I don't really know why."

"Well, just talk then." Roman sighed.

"Okay um, how are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." There was an awkward silence between the two men.

"Why did you really call me?" Roman asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you."

"Oh, well I didn't think you'd ever say that after what happened."

"Yeah. Me either."

"Do you wanna meet up sometime tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, if that's okay."

"Of course it is. I miss you too brotha. I don't know why I was even mad at you." Roman laughed.

"Well, at least we're friends again." Dean smiled.

"We're more than friends. We're family."

Both men said their goodbyes and Dean got ready to go to the arena. Things were looking up for Dean.

Or were they?


	18. Be the one I'll always know - Part 18

The moment that Dean stepped into the arena he was told to make his way to Stephanie's office. He knew what was coming and thought about going back to the hotel, but decided to stay and not get into anymore trouble. He hoped that Stephanie would be a bit softer on him, but he knew for sure that she was tougher than her husband when she wanted to be. Dean arrived at her office and knocked on the door.

"Come in." He heard Stephanie command. Dean opened the door and stepped into her office. He was met with a poker face from his co-boss.

"Good afternoon, Mr Ambrose." She forced a smile.

"Hey." Dean greeted casually sitting down on a chair opposite Stephanie.

"You know why you're here obviously. You have five minutes to give me a good enough reason not to fire you."

"I-I uh, I dunno." Dean shrugged. "You'll just have to get rid of me."

"Oh come on, at least try."

"I was just fed up of getting beat down and not being able to fight back. I felt as if my body was shutting down from all the beatings I had to take." Dean sighed looking at his hands.

"I'll tell you what." Stephanie looked somewhat concerned for the Lunatic Fringe. "Take tomorrow night off and have some extra rest. I can see that you're struggling at the moment. I guess we as a company can go a little over board with pushing our talent, so I'm sorry. You still have to apologies to Hunter though." Stephanie smiled.

"Oh uh, thank you. I thought that was the end of my career." Dean sighed with relief.

"The fans love you. We can't get rid of you that easily."

Dean said his goodbyes and headed to the locker room where he was met with AJ, Heath Slater, Kevin Owens and Jey Uso.

"Hey Deano!" Jey called out. "Have you heard from the boss yet?"

"Not yet. Steph said I could stay and she even gave me tomorrow off, but I haven't seen Hunter yet." Dean sighed.

"Well at least your job is safe for now." Owens patted his shoulder. AJ was rather quiet and didn't join in the conversation. He was terrified by what had happened with Dean last night and he didn't know how to approach the younger man.

Dean made his way to Hunter's office. To say he was nervous was an understatement. Dean was absolutely petrified. He arrived at Triple H's office and knocked on the door, getting deja vu from earlier this afternoon.

"Come in." Hunter shouted. Dean walked in with sweaty palms. "Ah, good afternoon Mr Ambrose. Take a seat." Dean sat down opposite his boss and prepared himself for a scolding.

"Stephanie told me what you said to her this afternoon, which is why I'm letting you off lightly. You are on your final warning. If you ever put your hands on me or anyone else outside of the script again, then you will be gone from this company for good!" Hunter's voice got louder towards the end of his rant.

"Yes Sir. I'm sorry, I was completely out of order and I hope you can forgive me." Dean mumbled.

"I forgive you for now, but if you carry on the way you are then that trust is gone." 

"Fair enough. Thank you." Dean felt like he was being told off by his teacher for not doing his homework, this meeting wasn't very professional.

"You are most welcome. Now go get ready for your match. I'll see you Friday."

Dean got up out of his chair and exited the room. A sense of relief washed over him as he made his way to the locker room. The rest of the night went according to plan. Dean won his match, which was a good match! AJ had been ignoring him all day. He was quiet when Dean was around and just looked down at his phone all the time. Dean wanted to make sure AJ was alright, so he found him after his match and drove him back to the hotel where they shared a room.

"So, how's your day been?" Dean asked.

"Good." AJ replied walking into the bathroom and locking the door. Dean heard the shower turn on not long after. He decided to go to bed. If AJ didn't want to talk to him then Dean wasn't going to push him.

__________

Wednesday morning came and Dean awoke once again to an empty bed. He decided to push everything with AJ to the back of his mind and focus on what he had to do today. The first thing he wanted to do was call Seth, so he dialed in his boyfriends number and pressed call.

"Hello?" Seth greeted.

"Hey, gorgeous." Dean replied. "Have a nice sleep?"

"Yeah I had a good sleep, but it wasn't as good as being woken up by you." Dean could feel Seth's happiness radiating through his phone.

"Well, that's nice to hear." Dean smirked. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Me either. I just want to hold you and watch movies with you, and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with you and then fall asleep in your arms. I miss you so much."

"I can tell." Dean laughed. "I miss you even more. It's lonely out here on the road. I wanna feel the warmth of your body next to mine. As long as you're near me, I'm happy."

"Aww! I love you." Seth smiled.

"I love you too, pumpkin."

"So what are your plans for today? Got a good match?" Seth asked.

"Nah, I got the night off. I was gonna come and see you early, but I ended up making plans to meet up with Roman and sort things out."

"That's good. I can't stand it when you two fight. Just make sure you give me some extra love when you get here on Thursday."

"Oh I will, don't you worry." Dean growled.

"Dean, it's way too early to get a boner from your growling." Seth giggled.

"It's never too early, baby." Dean laughed. "Anyway I should get going, I need to call Roman and plan a place to meet up."

"Okay, I love you. Have fun today." Seth smiled once again.

"I will and I love you too."

Both men ended their conversation and Dean dialed Roman's number. The Samoan picked up rather quickly.

"Hey Dean, you alright?" Roman greeted.

"Yeah I'm good, you?"

"I'm fantastic!" You could cut the sarcasm with a knife.

"Well that's good." Dean laughed. "Where do you wanna meet up today?"

"Uh, how about Starbucks in like 2 hours?" Roman replied.

"Yeah, that's good. See you in a bit."

"Later." Roman hung up.

Dean got into the shower and cleaned off the sweat from last nights match. He could no longer feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins, he could only feel a dull throbbing pain in his stomach and head. The time passed quickly and before he knew it Dean was sat at a table in Starbucks, opposite Roman.

"So how have you been man?" Roman asked.

"I've been good, just a bit beaten up from work."

"Well that's good. Before we get into a proper conversation, I just wanted to say sorry for how I've been treating you. It was wrong and unacceptable, but I hope you can forgive me and I hope you don't hate me." The Samoan sighed.

"Of course I forgive you, You're my friend and I'm never gonna hate you no matter what you do." Dean smiled.

"Thanks. So how're things with you and Seth?"

"They're good. It's kind of hard having a long distance relationship, but we battle through. I'm seeing him tomorrow." Dean didn't like to talk about Seth to others, especially now that he and AJ were more than friends.

"I applaud you two for being able to keep a long distance relationship. I definitely couldn't do it." 

"Well, when you love someone you'll do anything for them." Dean smiled sadly, knowing that he had let Seth down.

"Yeah I guess, but I've never really loved anyone."

"You'll find someone soon enough. It just takes time."

The two men continued to talk to one another for a few more hours. It was getting dark outside so Roman offered Dean a lift to his hotel, which he gladly accepted. When they pulled up to the hotel, Dean saw AJ standing out the front.

Dean thanked Roman for the ride and made his way over to AJ.

"Hey, where were you this morning?" Dean asked.

"I was just at the gym." AJ replied. He was getting fed up of keeping their relationship a secret.

AJ just wanted to be able to hold Dean's hand in public and show his affection towards the younger man whenever he wanted to. He didn't want to have to worry about who saw them together.

"I'm sorry I've been a bit off lately, I'm just tired." AJ sighed.

"Hey, it's alright babe." Dean smiled giving his lover a small kiss on the lips. "Let's go to bed. It's been a long day." The two men made their way to their hotel room and got into bed, holding each other in a warm embrace.

What Dean didn't realize was that Roman had been watching the two men from his car and had seen everything. He knew for a fact that he wasn't going to let Dean get away with this. He dialed Seth's number and listened to his friend sob as he told him about what had just happened.

Dean awoke early on Thursday morning and got ready to leave for the airport. If he left now (4am) then he would be in Iowa by 11am. He left a note on AJ's side of the bed saying that he was heading home for the day and would be back on Friday.

When Dean arrived home, the atmosphere was very tense. The house was silent. Dean found Seth in the living room and went to go give him a kiss, but Seth quickly moved out of the way.

"Get out of my house you cheating scumbag!" Seth mumbled violently.

"W-what, what do you mean?" Dean felt his entire soul rip apart.

"Roman told me. He saw you and AJ he- he saw you two kissing." Seth was in tears. "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me."

"I-I do love you I- look AJ kissed me and I didn't kiss him back. Roman must have saw it wrong. I didn't kiss him I swear. He-he kissed me and then I told him about you and he apologized and I haven't spoke to him since, I swear!" Dean cried out, lying through his teeth.

"So he kissed you and you stopped him?" Seth asked looking like a child who had just found out that Santa wasn't real.

"Yeah I stopped him. I don't love him, I love you."

"Do you promise?"

"I promise. It's always been you baby." Dean smiled giving Seth a hug.

"I'm sorry for shouting at you and calling you a scumbag." Seth sniffled.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for shouting as well. Are we still good?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, I love you."

"I love you too."

Dean knew that he needed to stop this relationship with AJ. It was getting out of hand and it was hurting Seth. Dean needed to sort himself out.


	19. Roadblock - Part 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggering! Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Dean and Seth spent Thursday at their local gym. Seth had started to practice moves and get his leg use to the in ring experience. Dean loved watching his boyfriend wrestle, which is why he sat in the gym for 5 hours encouraging Seth to power through his weaknesses.

On Friday morning Dean flew over to Canada for a live house show. He was in a match against Bray Wyatt. The match didn't last long but it was very entertaining, especially when Dean got the pin on Bray. 

AJ was no where to be seen. He hadn't contacted Dean at all on Thursday, which was odd for the older man. Usually he was all over Dean. The way AJ had been acting worried Ambrose. Had he done something wrong? Had AJ finally had enough of their relationship? Dean wanted to get to the bottom of it all, so he drove to the hotel he was staying at and asked the receptionist what room AJ was staying in.

Dean made his way up to the 2nd floor and knocked on what was apparently his friends door. The door opened almost immediately, only to shut when AJ saw who it was.

"AJ, what's your problem?" Dean spoke through the door. "I just want to know how you are." He felt stupid talking to a piece of wood.

"I'm fine, now leave me alone." AJ's quiet voice just about made its way to Dean's ears.

"Why are you mad at me? What have I done wrong?" Dean asked. AJ didn't respond.

Dean slid down the door into a sitting position. He wanted answers and he was going to get them.

"I'm not leaving until you speak to me. I'll sit here all night if I have to."

"Have fun on the floor. I'm going to bed." AJ sighed.

"Oh come on, why are you being so childish?" The door suddenly opened and Dean fell into the room.

"Me, childish? Look at yourself Dean, I'm not the childish one!" Dean got up onto his feet and stood in front of AJ.

"What do you mean?"

"You're cheating on your boyfriend. That's not exactly adult-like now is it?"

"Hey, you're equally to blame!" Dean argued.

"Yeah, maybe I am but at least I'm not keeping a secret relationship from you."

"Are we really going through this? Is this why you haven't been talking to me?" Dean asked.

"No, I'm fed up of keeping this a secret. I wanna hold your hand in public and I want the world to know how much you mean to me!" AJ cried.

"Well, you can't have everything AJ. You wanted to have this damn relationship in the first place. It's not my fault you love me." 

"What if I don't love you anymore?!" AJ screamed. The room went silent. Tears streamed down AJ's face as he watched Dean walk away.

"Dean, wait."

"No, what's the point. We're done AJ!"

"No please, I love you. Dean I love you. Please don't leave me." AJ sobbed.

"It's too late for that. I've got Seth, someone who I love. I don't need you ruining my life." Dean left AJ's room and slammed the door as hard as he could, causing AJ to flinch.

AJ never realized how angry Dean could be. It scared him to think of what could have happened if the argument had gone on longer. AJ felt like he had finally reached his breaking point. First he interferes in Dean's life, then he treats him like rubbish and now here he is all alone after chasing the man of his dreams away.

The only person who AJ had ever loved was now gone and AJ didn't know how to cope with the pain. It was going to be a long night. AJ finally got to sleep, with his head resting on his tear stained pillow.

Dean was furious. How could AJ show him so much disrespect? He's glad he finished their relationship when he did, but at the same time all he wants to do is hold AJ in his arms and tell him that he loves him. Dean got into bed and fell asleep with the thought of AJ in his mind.

__________

Dean awoke on Saturday morning feeling refreshed. Tonight was the big night. Dean Ambrose vs Triple H for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. There was no way in hell that Dean was leaving the arena without the gold belt hanging over his shoulder.

After a much needed shower, Dean headed to the gym to do his morning work out. He saw AJ when he got there, but the two of them didn't speak. AJ had large purple bags under his eyes and he looked pretty rough. Dean decided to push the negativity out of his mind and get into the zone of exercise. 

Once Dean had finished at the gym he made his way straight to the arena. The thought that he actually had a chance to become champion gave him butterflies in his stomach.

The rest of the morning and afternoon went by in a daze and before he knew it, Dean was in the gorilla about to enter the ring for his match. The crowd went wild as he made his way down the ramp. It felt amazing.

The match started with numerous grapple holds and reversals. The adrenaline started to kick in once the pace of the match fastened. Dean had the upper hand for most of the match and was confident that he would win. He went for the pin 1, 2, 3! He had done it! He had become the champion after months of constant beat downs he had finally-

"No!" Shouted the referee.

"What?" Dean was in shock.

"Your foot was under the rope. It doesn't count."

Dean's world came crashing down around him. He hadn't won. He wasn't good enough. He had let everybody down.

Hunter eventually got the upper hand and got the pin on Ambrose. Dean was too numb to move. He had lost everything.

He had pushed AJ away, He cheated on Seth and he lost the match. Seth would probably break up with him after seeing his poor attempt at trying to win. Dean was useless and nobody wanted him. He had pushed everyone away. He had to pay for the sins he had committed. 

He doesn't remember how he got there, but Dean was now sat in the locker room. He got changed out of his ring gear and made a break for the exit, only to be stopped by Jey Uso.

"Hey man, that was a great match. You stole the show." Jey smiled. Dean knew he was lying to make him feel better, but he smiled back anyway.

"You okay? You look a bit pale." Jey asked. Dean gave Jey a hug.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for always having my back." Dean walked away with tears in his eyes. 

Once he was sat in his car the first tear fell. All of Dean's emotions poured out. He just wanted his life to be over.

He got back to the hotel and grabbed a bottle of Vodka. He sat down on the sofa and grabbed his phone. Turning on his lock-screen, he saw a picture of Seth. His gorgeous angel who he had let down. It was time Seth knew the truth. Dean dialed in his boyfriends number and pressed call.

"Hello?" Seth greeted.

"I'm sorry." Dean sobbed.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Seth sounded worried.

"I can't do this anymore!" The Vodka made its way down Dean's throat. He gulped down half of the bottle within minutes.

"Baby, calm down okay? You need to calm down. Take deep breaths."

"I can't" Dean choked on his historical sobs. "It's all my fault!"

"What's your fault?" Seth asked.

"You hate me!"

"No I don't, why would I hate you?" 

"B-because, I cheated o-on you."

Seth went silent. Not only had Dean cheated on him, but he had also lied.

"Y-you, I-I"

"I'm sorry. You d-deserve better. I'm sorry I wa-wasted your time." Dean felt the guilt consume him. The Vodka was now gone and Dean was heading for the bathroom.

"Dean just, we can't talk about this another time when you're not so upset, okay?"

"But this is the only time we can talk."

"What do you mean?" Seth's nerves were all over the place.

"I can't do this anymore." Dean whispered, opening the cabinet over the sink and grabbing the bottle of sleeping pills.

"Dean, what are you talking about? Please calm down and talk to me."

"I love you. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. I'm sorry that you had to put up with me. I'm sorry that I cheated on you and I'm sorry that I didn't die when I tried to drown myself. Life would have been a lot better if Roman hadn't of found me." Dean cried out.

"Dean, don't say that. You don't need to be sorry. Please calm down."

"I love you."

"Stop Dean, whatev-"

"Please just tell me you love me too." Dean sobbed.

"Dean-"

"Please!"

"I-I, I love you too." Seth finally broke down and tears streamed down his face.

"Thank you." Dean whispered before hanging up and throwing his phone across the room.

He stared a the bottle of sleeping pills in his hand and opened the lid. He had only used one of the pills, so the bottle was still full.

With shaking hands he poured four pills onto the floor. He picked them up and placed them in his mouth, one by one, swallowing them all at once. He poured another four onto the floor and repeated the process. Within a minute the whole bottle had been emptied out into Dean's stomach.

Dean stood up with difficulty and made his way to the bedroom where he got into bed. His stomach churned with pain and he felt like he was going to throw up, but he knew he had to hold it in. The agonizing pain continued for what felt like forever, but was only a few minutes.

Dean finally felt his eyes get heavy. Closing his eyes, he sacrificed his life and let the darkness take over.


	20. Living with the guilt - Part 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried whilst writing this so it may be triggering to some. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! Also it's a bit short.

Seth's anxiety was all over the place. Dean had hung up without a goodbye and he definitely wasn't mentally stable. There was no way for Seth to physically check on Dean, since he was in Iowa and Dean was in Toronto. He needed to make sure his boyfriend was okay. He was desperate, so he called AJ.

"Hello?" AJ greeted sounding half awake.

"Hey it's Seth, look Dean told me everything about you two and I need you to check on him. Somethings not right, he's going to do something stupid. Please find him and help him, I'm begging you. I don't care about your affair I just need you to make sure he's okay." Seth raced out.

"Y-yeah okay um, I'll find him. He'll be okay I promise." AJ replied.

"Thank you." Seth hung up and waited for the bad news to come. He had never heard Dean so desperate for love.

AJ ran as fast as he could to Dean's room. He had seen him walking in there earlier. He went to knock on the door, but realized there was no time for that so he kicked the door down.

It was easy to find Dean. He was lying in bed, under the covers. He looked peaceful in his sleep and AJ let out a sigh of relief before realizing that something wasn't right. Dean wasn't breathing. AJ ran over to his friends body, tears streaming down his face, and shook Dean in an attempt to wake him up. But it didn't work.

"Dean!" AJ shouted. "Dean, wake up!"

The sobbing man grabbed his phone and called for an ambulance. The paramedics arrived and took Dean away on a stretcher. AJ had never seen a body so lifeless. The image haunted his mind as he waited in the silent waiting room to see if Dean was alive.

"Mr Styles?" A doctor called out from the door of the waiting room. AJ stood up. "Follow me." The doctor sighed.

"How is he?" AJ rushed out as they made their way through the corridors.

"He's alive, but he's not doing too good."A tear made its way down AJ's face as the doctor continued to speak. "We pumped his stomach and managed to get his heart pumping again, however he's not breathing on his own. He has been attached to a ventilator as his lungs are too weak to breathe on their own. Also he is very undernourished, which has caused even more damage to his lungs. On his medical records it says that he has attempted suicide before, has he had any help since then?" The doctor asked.

AJ was overwhelmed. Dean needed a machine to breathe. Why was he so undernourished? Why hadn't he noticed that things were wrong before?

"Uh, I-I don't think so." AJ answered. 

"Well, he needed it." The doctor sighed. "The alcohol and sleeping pills have done a lot of damage to his stomach, lungs and liver. His organs are very weak from how undernourished he is and the substance abuse has only made it worse. Mr Ambrose is in a life threatening condition. We can't promise that he'll make it through this."

AJ broke down. Dean, the only man he had ever loved, could be dead within seconds. The doctor stopped outside the doors of the intensive care unit and waited for AJ to calm down.

"This is going to be hard for you to see, but you've got to stay strong." The doctor said as he directed AJ to Dean's room. AJ nodded not knowing what to expect.

AJ closed his eyes as he walked into Dean's room. He wasn't ready to see his friend in so much pain. The constant beeping of the heart monitor gave AJ a small bit of hope that things would be okay. He opened his eyes and instantly wished that he hadn't.

The tube going down Dean's throat was huge. It looked painful. There was a brace wrapped around his neck and tape across his fore head to keep him in place. There were wires sticking out from every part of his body and he had to wear special hospital 'moon boots' to stop his feet from falling flat. If it wasn't for the gentle rise and fall of his chest, Dean would look dead.

Dean was shirtless and AJ could see how skinny he really was. His ribs were sticking out and he had no fat in his stomach. His skin was pale and blotchy. Bruises covered his weak body from all the matches he had competed in.

AJ had never felt so guilty over something in his entire life. He had let this happen. He shouldn't have gotten mad at Dean about their relationship. If it wasn't for Seth calling, Dean would have been dead. 

"I'm Doctor Rann, by the way." AJ heard the doctor say. "Are you related to Mr Ambrose, in any way?"

"No, I'm just a friend." AJ replied, feeling his heart break.

"Ah okay, well just come and find me if there's anything you need or press the emergency button if there are any problems."

"Okay, thanks."

AJ knew he had to let Seth know the news. He dialed in his number and pressed call.

"H-hello? Is he okay?" Seth sounded worried.

"He- he's in the hospital, h-" AJ started to cry. "They do-on't know if he's gonna make it."

"W-what?" Seth sobbed.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. C-calm down. I'm gonna fly over on the next available flight. Please look after him, okay?" Seth asked.

"I will, I promise."

"Thank you."

Both men were in a lot of emotional pain. The person they loved was in a life or death situation and they couldn't do anything to help him. They should have helped him sooner. It was equally their fault and now they were paying the price.


	21. The waiting game - Part 21

The bright, white lights of the hospital burned AJ's already bloodshot eyes. He was back in the waiting room, left alone with his thoughts. He physically couldn't look at Dean. It hurt too much to see him so helpless. All he wanted to do was give him a hug, but he couldn't in fear that he would break his fragile body.

Seth would be there soon and AJ knew that he couldn't stay at the hospital once Dean's boyfriend arrived. Seth despised him. AJ had made Dean cheat on Seth. He was pathetic. The least he could do was give Seth some space and show him some respect.

Seth spent his entire plane journey looking out the window with tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe how worried AJ had sounded over the phone. At first he thought that AJ was only dating Dean to hurt him, but after talking to him over the phone he realized how wrong he was. The older man cared for Dean and that broke Seth's heart.

As soon as the plane landed in Toronto, Seth called for a taxi and made his way to the hospital. Being in the medical environment reminded Seth of the last time Dean tried to take his life. The old and the new memories combined, sent shivers down the two-toned man's spine.

Seth walked over to the receptionist and asked where Dean's room was. She directed Seth to his lover's room and left him stood outside the door. Seth opened the door and walked into the room, shocked at the sight he saw. It was definitely worse than last time. Seth tried to take it all in and sit next to his boyfriend, but he couldn't. Instead he exited the room to take a few deep breaths.

"Excuse me sir, may I ask who you are here to see?" Someone asked Seth. He soon realized it was a doctor.

"I-I'm here to see Dean. I'm Seth, his boyfriend." Seth sighed. "Sorry, I'm a bit shook up at the moment."

"No need to apologize, I'm Dr Rann and I'm looking after your boyfriend whilst he's in intensive care." Doctor Rann smiled.

"Do you think you could help me with something?" Seth asked the doctor.

"Of course."

"Do you know if a man called AJ has been here recently?"

"Why yes, the last time I saw him was about an hour ago. He was in the family waiting room." Doctor Rann answered.

"Okay thanks, I need to talk to him and make sure he's okay." Seth sighed. "Thank you for helping Dean."

"That's my job, no need to thank me."

Seth made his way to the waiting room. AJ was the only person in the room. He was sat on the floor against the wall, with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Seth walked towards the older man and sat down next to him.

"Hey." Seth said causing AJ to jump.

"Oh uh, hey. I-I'll go if you want me to." AJ tried to get up but his body failed on him and he ended up back on the ground.

"You don't have to go. I could do with the company."

"Okay." AJ felt his face heat up. He was never good in awkward situations. "Have you seen Dean yet?"

"Yeah." Seth sighed. "And I had to leave the room within seconds. I couldn't even look at him."

"Me either. I can't stand to see him so helpless. He looks like he's in pain and all I want to do is take the pain away." AJ started to cry.

"Me too, I'd sacrifice everything to keep him alive."

"Maybe we should go in there together." AJ suggested. "At least then we don't have to go through it alone."

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Come on." Seth stood up and offered AJ a hand. 

The two men made their way back up to Dean's room and sat besides his bed. Seth was the first to talk.

"Y'know, the last time he was in here he woke up pretty quickly. He's a fighter and he'll get through this. Don't worry yourself." 

"I know I shouldn't worry myself, but I can't help but think it's my fault." AJ cried.

"Why would it be your fault?"

"I wanted our relationship to be public but he wasn't ready and I kept pushing him. He broke up with me on Friday night saying that he had you. Basically I was just a big mistake to him. I know it's weird to say, because you're here, but I still love him and it kills me to see him like this."

"Hey, I don't know what your relationship was like but I know how you feel. We'll talk about you guys later on when everything has fully sunk in. I don't think now is the time to argue and it would be nice to hear Dean's side of the story." Seth sighed. "You're a good man AJ, you did a bad thing, but that doesn't make you a bad man."

"Thank you Seth. I appreciate your kindness."

Both men stayed awake until the early hours of Sunday morning. They had a few hours sleep, before sitting and watching Dean once again.

"I should probably call Hunter and tell him what happened." AJ sighed. "I'll go and get us some coffees once I'm done." AJ left the room and headed to the cafeteria where he called his boss.

"Hello?" Hunter greeted.

"Hey Hunter, it's AJ. I just called to tell you that Dean's in hospital and he's in a bad way, so he won't be able to compete for a while."

"What happened?"

"I'll explain it later. You can come to the hospital this afternoon if you want. It's just me and Seth here with him."

"Okay, me and Steph will be up in a bit. Send Ambrose my concerns." Triple H said.

"I will do, thanks." AJ hung up and grabbed two coffees from the drinks machine. They weren't anything special but they would do.

AJ made his way back up to Dean's room and handed Seth his coffee.

"Thanks man. What did Hunter say?"

"He said he's gonna come over this afternoon. I didn't tell him what happened to Dean, I just said he wouldn't be able to work."

"Oh, okay. The doctor came in whilst you were gone and said he waned to talk to us about Dean." Seth said taking a sip from his drink.

"Okay."

__________

The doctor joined the two conscious men in Dean's room. He checked on Dean before sitting down and grabbing a pen and clipboard.

"So." He started. "Dean is currently being given antibiotics to help strengthen his liver. As you can see, he has a tube giving him the medication and he also has a tube giving him food. We want him to put on weight before he leaves the hospital."

"When do you think he's gonna wake up?" AJ asked.

"We can't be sure, sorry." The doctor replied. "We are hoping to get him off the ventilator tomorrow, so his body can get use to breathing on it's own. We will keep him in the ICU until we are sure he is healthy enough to support himself, whether he's in a coma or not. Do you have any questions?"

"Is there a chance that he might not make it?" Asked Seth looking rather pale.

"When he first came in last night, we thought he was already dead. When we finally managed to stabilize him everyone thought he would only have a few hours before his body shut down, which is why we put him on the ventilator, but he has made progress today. I still can't promise anything, but I personally think that he'll wake up within a few days." The doctor smiled.

"Okay, thanks."

The doctor left the two men to watch over Dean. They didn't speak to one another. Instead they listened to the steady heartbeat, of the man they both loved, echoing around the room.


	22. Visiting hours - Part 22

Seth had been wanting to talk to AJ about him and Dean, but wasn't sure how to approach the situation. Although he was heart broken to hear that his boyfriend had been cheating on him, he was also thankful that Dean could talk to AJ when he got lonely out on the road. Dean had slept with AJ after being with him for a few days. Seth has been with Dean for over a month and has known him for years, but they have never had sex. Was Seth not good enough for him? 

The constant questions circled Seth's mind. He really needed to get a few things off of his chest.

"Hey AJ, did you know that Dean was dating me when the two of you started... y'know?" Seth asked.

"Oh um, yeah I did." AJ sighed, disappointed in himself. "We always brought it up and questioned if we should stay together and eventually he chose you over me. I love him. I was desperate to have him in my life as more than just a friend and I was selfish. I shouldn't have done what I did. I'm not expecting you to forgive me, but I'm sorry. With all my heart, I'm sorry." AJ was crying, Seth had never seen someone so truthful. He could see it in AJ's eyes. He really was sorry for what he did and he regretted it.

"It's okay I guess. It's gonna take a while for me to fully forgive you, but I'd like for us to be friends, for Dean's sake. He's been through a lot of stress lately. The last thing he needs to worry about when he wakes up is us." Seth smiled.

"Thank you Seth, you're a kind man."

Triple H and Stephanie arrived in the early afternoon of Sunday. They were shocked to see the state that Dean was in.

"Did he try to... like last time?" Stephanie asked Seth.

"Yeah." Seth sighed. "But this time it's worse."

"I can't believe he tried to do it again. Poor thing. He needs help." Stephanie looked really concerned for Dean. "He told me that he felt over-worked. I gave him a day off. I should have given him longer."

"Nah, it's not so much him being over-worked. His head is just all over the place at the moment. He's had an eating disorder for over a month. I thought he was getting better but the doctor said otherwise. I just wish I had gotten him help for that as soon as he came out of the hospital last time." Seth sighed. "I hate seeing him like this."

"Do you know how long he's in here for?" Hunter asked.

"Not a clue. He needs to wake up before we can even think about leaving."

"Well, when he does wake up we'll give him a few months off to recover. Make sure you get him a therapist." Stephanie said.

"I will, don't worry. I'm not gonna let this happen again." Seth, Hunter and Stephanie spent an hour or so talking before the power couple left. 

AJ had stayed silent the whole time. He had pretended to be asleep so he didn't have to get involved with any business. He had been with the WWE for three months and already he wanted to leave.

Roman arrived later on in the afternoon. He had heard about Dean's condition and literally ran to the hospital. He too was shocked by how bad the situation actually was. He felt guilty for all the times he had hurt Dean for no reason. He felt like he had failed his brother. Roman was confused at the fact that Seth and AJ were in the same room and acting friendly with one another.

"So, are you two friends now or something?" Roman asked looking between the two men.

"I guess you could say that." Seth replied. "We've gotta stick together for Dean, there's no time for arguments."

"That's cool then." Roman was still unsure about AJ. He had hurt Seth in the worst way possible and Roman wasn't ever going to forgive him for that.

"So when are you getting back in the ring?" Seth asked, changing the subject.

"Hopefully tomorrow." Roman smiled.

"Dude that's awesome. I'll get a TV in here so I can watch you." Seth laughed.

"Yeah, you do that. Didn't Dean wake up from his coma on a Monday last time?" Roman asked. AJ looked up at the comment and suddenly looked interested in the conversation.

"Yeah, it was after the tribute they did for him at the end of the show." Seth answered.

"Well, let's hope my return wakes him up." Roman laughed.

"That would be amazing." Seth sighed. "I want him to wake up right now, so I can give him a big cuddle." Roman looked over to AJ to see that he was once again looking down at his phone. The phenomenal one wiped a tear from off of his cheek and Roman almost felt sorry for him. Almost. It must be hard having to keep his feelings for Dean in, during such a frightening time.

Roman left just before midnight. Seth and AJ fell asleep on the spare sofas in Dean's hospital room, getting ready to face another day of pain. They just wanted Dean to wake up.

Monday morning came around quickly. AJ was about to leave the room to get ready for RAW, when Seth stopped him.

"Hey, could you tell me how you found him?" AJ was shocked by the sudden question.

"Uh, well, he was in bed. He looked like he was asleep. He looked peaceful. I thought he was okay and then I noticed that he wasn't breathing. There was no mess or anything. It was just him." AJ answered. 

"Thanks."

"No problem. I'll see you later." AJ sighed leaving the room and leaving Seth alone with his thoughts.

Seth missed Dean's cute little smile. He wanted to see his boyfriend full of light. He wanted to have a conversation with him. He had heard that people can still hear others when they're in comas so Seth decided to give it a go.

"Hey Dean." The simple greeting seemed so hard to get out.

"I miss you, y'know? I want you to wake up so I can see your beautiful eyes and hold you without breaking your fragile body." Seth found it harder to talk with each word. "I hope you're okay and that you wake up soon. It's lonely without you. It's boring without you. You bring joy wherever you go." Seth started to cry for the first time since the phone call he had, had with Dean.

"Please wake up. I need you. I can't live on without you." The tears continued to fall down the two-toned man's face. "You're all I have. I love you so much. please don't leave me." Seth sobbed.

The room was silent, the only noise that could be heard was the small sniffles coming from Seth. The doctor walked into the room and saw how upset Seth was. He decided to leave the man alone so he could let out all of his emotions.

Once Seth had calmed down, he turned on the TV that the hospital had so kindly given him, and put RAW on. It was a good show but he was sad to see Neville get injured. It reminded him of his current situation. He hated being kept on the side line but at least he could be with Dean during this hard time. Roman's return was pretty awesome. Seth was happy to see his brother finally get back in the ring.

Seth worried for Dean. He had been in a coma for two days and three nights. Last time he was in a coma, he had woken up within a few days. Why wasn't he awake yet? It was at this moment, when Seth was left alone in the silence, that he realized how bad the situation really was. Dean was not in a good condition and he was not going to be waking up anytime soon.

AJ got back to the hospital at 11pm. He was tired from RAW, but managed to stay up for a few more hours while Seth slept. The two men awoke on Tuesday morning to see that Dean still hadn't woken up. The same feeling of disappointment washed over both men and tensions rose over the fear that Dean might not ever wake up. All they could do was hope and pray that their loved one made it through this horrible time.


	23. You know I would wait forever - Part 23

Seth spent the majority of Tuesday looking at old photos on his phone and reminiscing about his time with Dean. The word 'reminiscing' always made Seth think of death, but thankfully that wasn't the case.

As he swiped through his photo album he saw a picture of Dean, Roman and himself dressed up in their Shield uniform, cooing over Lita's dog. Seth remembers that day very well. He and Roman had been getting ready for their match when Dean called them over to look at a cute dog he had found. The look of excitement in Dean's eyes made Seth laugh. He use to be so easily impressed. The look on Dean's face in the picture made Seth laugh, he remembers blushing when he looked over to see his friends adorable pout. 

The next picture was of him and Dean sunbathing on the beach. They were both in their swimming trunks with their middle fingers up. Seth remembers that they were trying to wind up Roman, who was taking the picture, which is why they looked so weird. Seth wishes that Dean was as confident with his body now, as he was back then. He misses the cute little smile that was permanently on his lover's face.

The evening arrived and Smackdown was on. Seth enjoyed the match between AJ Styles and Kevin Owens. It was a good, clean match until Jericho got involved. AJ and Jericho used to be friends but that changed after and incident in catering, which no one likes to talk about. Seth was happy to see Owens doing so well with his career. The two men had been friends since NXT.

Roman's promo really hit Seth hard. Of course he was happy for his friend and proud of him, but he wanted to be champion again. He never lost in the first place so technically he was still champion. Even though he was fed up of seeing his title thrown around, he still enjoyed the whole Roman vs Triple H feud.

AJ arrived back at the hospital an hour after Smackdown had finished. He looked exhausted.

"Hey man, that was a good match." Seth smiled as AJ lay down on the hospital sofa.

"Thanks." AJ sighed. He looked as if he was about to fall asleep.

Seth's prediction was right. AJ had in fact fallen asleep. The older man looked very peaceful in his slumber and Seth was almost jealous that he had fallen asleep so easily. Seth was thinking of doing the same, but he didn't want to leave Dean's side, so he moved his chair closer to the hospital bed and lay his head on Dean's stomach. Their hands were together near Seth's face and just as Seth was about to fall asleep, he saw and felt Dean's hand move. He quickly raised his head and stared at his lover's hand.

Nothing happened after that. Seth decided that he had only dreamt it. He re-placed his head on Dean's stomach and fell into a restless sleep.

AJ awoke in the middle of the night to see Dean and Seth asleep together. He wished that he could be in Seth's position right now but he knew that would never happen. Dean had broken up with him so that he could stay with Seth. Dean didn't want AJ. It was as simple as that, but AJ still watched over his love night after night, day after day. They may not be together, but AJ still loved Dean and he wasn't going to let his friend die. He needed Dean to wake up. It was the only way AJ would get out of the dark.

When morning came Seth was the first to wake. AJ had finally fallen asleep after a night of torment. Seth lifted his head to look at the clock which read 9:30am. The two-toned man looked across the room at AJ's sleeping form and sighed. He just wanted to get out of this hospital. He called up Roman and asked if he could join him at the hospital. The Samoan was there within the hour.

"Hey Seth, what's up?" Roman asked making his way into the room.

"Not much, I was just wondering if you could watch Dean for an hour or two. I've been at this hospital for four days and I really need a shower, so I'm gonna rent out a motel room for the day." Seth sighed looking over at AJ. "Don't worry about AJ, he won't get in your way."

"Of course I'll watch over him, you don't need to ask me twice." Roman laughed. "Have you got a spare change of clothes with you?"

"Yeah I brought some clothes with me in a bag."

"Cool, well you go and get cleaned up, I'll look after him."

"Thanks Rome." Seth sighed and hugged his friend.

"Whoa, you really do need a shower." Roman laughed fanning the air.

"Shut up." Seth smiled, leaving the room.

Roman was worried for Dean. He had been in a coma for four days and five nights, but he didn't seem to be getting better. Seth had called him the other day saying that they were going to remove the breathing tube soon, but that still hadn't happened. Dean looked so weak lying in the hospital bed covered in needles. Roman had hated seeing his friend like this the first time, and this time it was even worse. He feared that the situation was a lot more dangerous than what Seth had told him.

Roman had forgotten that AJ was in the room. The older man was still asleep, he looked like he needed it. He had bags under his eyes and he hadn't shaved for almost a week. Even though he had upset Seth for what he had done with Dean, Roman still worried for him. At work AJ didn't talk to anyone. He just walked around like a corpse. Everything that has happened with Dean really messed AJ up.

Seth was glad to be clean. He had spent at least an hour in the shower, hoping that Roman didn't mind watching over Dean for longer. He was fully refreshed with new clothes and the smell of strawberries wafting off of his hair. He arrived back at the hospital with three Subway sandwiches. Roman and AJ were very grateful for that.

Seth and Dean were alone once again. Roman and AJ left for work. Seth was lost in thought when the doctor came in.

"Hello Mr Rollins." Doctor Rann smiled.

"Hey Doc."

"I have some exiting news for you." Seth was suddenly aware of what this might of meant and got extremely excited.

"What is is?" Seth asked.

"Well, me and a fellow nurse of mine are going to take out Dean's breathing tube and test to see if he's okay without it."

"Okay, can I stay in the room? Are you doing it now?" Seth was like a child on Christmas.

"Yes and yes." The doctor laughed walking over to the ventilator. A nurse walked into the room with a clipboard. 

"I'm going to put the ventilator onto a low setting to slow down his breathing a bit." Doctor Rann informed, pressing some buttons on the machine. "Okay, he's doing good."

Seth started to worry. What if Dean couldn't breathe on his own? His thoughts were cut off by a long beeping noise. Seth started to panic.

"Don't worry, Mr Rollins. That was just the ventilator turning off." The nurse soothed.

The nurse then removed the large tube from Dean's throat along with the feeding tube, which they would replace later. There was silence around the room as everyone waited to see what would happen.

"Mr Ambrose, seems to be breathing fine on his own for the moment." Doctor Rann smiled. "We will replace his feeding tube and check on him in an hour or so."

"Okay, thank you." Seth sighed in relief. He had his Dean back.

AJ got to the hospital at 11pm and noticed straight away that Dean no longer had the breathing tube.

"Is he breathing on his own?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, they took out the tube and kept checking on him. They're gonna move him up to the recovery ward tomorrow morning." Seth smiled.

"That's great." AJ was relieved.

"How was your match tonight?"

"It was alright, I just wanted to come back here the whole time."

"Yeah, I hate not being here with him." Seth sighed. "Do you wanna put the TV on?"

"Only if we watch Family Guy."

"Deal."

After watching two episodes of Family Guy, AJ and Seth went to sleep. They were both exhausted and needed some rest ready for the next day.

__________

Thursday morning was rather hectic. Seth had to fill out a load of paperwork for Dean. The hospital was moving Dean up to the recovery ward and needed to make sure that everything went to plan.

The doctors gave Dean his breakfast, through a tube, and got to work. AJ was already at the recovery ward with one of the nurses waiting for Dean's arrival. Seth was going to walk with the doctors along side Dean's bed.

Once they got to the recovery ward, Seth sighed a sigh of relief. It felt great to finally relax and not have to worry about anything.

The two men spent the day watching movies in Dean's room. Thursday was AJ's day off so he didn't have to leave for work. Seth called Roman to tell him what had happened and he was over the moon. 

The tension in the air went down along with everyone's anxiety. Dean was getting better. Things were looking up.


	24. Sleeping patterns - Part 24

Dean had been doing well without the ventilator. He had been off of it for a whole day without any problems. There was a huge sense of relief among everyone now that they knew Dean was progressing. Seth had been able to leave Dean in his room alone, for the first time since the incident, to get himself a coffee. It was the start of something beautiful.

AJ had left for the gym, so it was just Seth and Dean together. The doctors had been in and out of his lover's small room all morning, making sure he was doing okay in his recovery. Doctor Rann was over the moon to see his patient getting better. He had thought for sure that Dean was dead the moment he had been admitted to the hospital. He had done everything in his power to get the young man breathing on that dreadful night, but it was all worth it.

Friday was dragging for Seth. He was getting bored of spending his days sitting alone in the hospital, but there was no way he was leaving Dean alone for a whole day. He needed to be with his boyfriend every step of the way, no matter what.

Seth had been finishing up his lunch when he saw Dean's eyes open. It was only for a second and Seth thought that he had imagined it, but then it happened again.

"Dean?" Seth stood up and placed his tray on the bedside table. Dean eyes were closed once again.

Seth had given up on his hope of Dean waking up and sat back down, only to here a small grunt coming from the direction of his lover. Without thinking Seth pressed the emergency button above Dean's bed and watched as five doctors came rushing into the room. They seemed to know what was happening without Seth telling them.

The doctors exited the room after a few minutes of fussing over Dean. Doctor Rann was standing in front of Seth.

"I'm afraid that was a false alarm." Doctor Rann sighed. "It's a very common thing to happen."

"Oh." Seth felt all of his excitement leave his body and sat back down in his chair next to Dean's bed.

"Don't get too upset. This just shows us that he's getting better and he was awake for a few minutes, which is a long time for someone whose been in a coma. I reckon he'll be awake within a few days." Doctor Rann smiled.

"Yeah, you're right. Thank you for helping Dean and being here for me. I couldn't have gotten through this without your reassuring words." Seth smiled back. He meant every word.

"No need to thank me. It's all a part of the job." Doctor Rann left the room.

Seth wanted to call Roman and tell him what had happened but he knew the big man would be busy at the gym. He turned on the small TV that sat in the room and watched re-runs of The Simpsons whilst holding Dean's hand. The thought that Dean could actually be awake within a few days made Seth laugh to himself. He had tricked himself into thinking that Dean would never wake up, but he was wrong. He would finally be able to look into those gorgeous, blue, dreamy eyes.

Friday night arrived and AJ was back from work. Seth had told him about what had happened with Dean today and AJ was ecstatic. 

The two men ate dinner together, thanks to AJ who brought McDonald's for the the both of them on his way to the hospital. Seth was just happy that he didn't have to eat the horrible hospital food. It all tasted like cardboard, especially the mashed potato.

The night was getting late and AJ was getting ready to go to sleep. Seth was texting Roman and telling him about Dean's recovery. It dawned on Seth that Dean could wake up at any moment. He didn't want to be asleep when Dean woke up, that wouldn't be fair. Imagine waking up from a coma, confused and delusional only to see that no one cared enough to stay awake and help you. Seth wasn't going to sleep tonight.

__________

Seth felt pretty rough when Saturday morning arrived. He had managed to stay awake the whole night, it was one of the hardest things he had ever forced himself to do. AJ woke up at 7am to see that Seth was about to drop dead.

"Hey man you alright?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, just tired. I haven't slept all night." Seth yawned.

"Shit man, do wanna sleep now? I'll watch Dean."

"Yeah, that would be great thanks, as long as you don't mind."

"Of course not, we'll do shifts. Come and sleep on the sofa, I'll sit next to Dean." AJ smiled.

"Okay." Seth practically dragged himself over to the sofa. He almost fell on his way there, but luckily AJ was there to catch him and help him the rest of the way.

AJ felt bad for Seth. He knew that Seth had stayed up all night to watch over Dean. He hoped that Dean would wake up soon. Not just for his sake, but for Seth's.

Roman decided to visit Dean and see how everyone was doing. When he entered Dean's room he saw Seth fast asleep on the sofa. AJ was awake next to Dean.

"Hey." Roman said making AJ jump.

"Oh, hey."

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm good thanks, you?"

"I'm fine. How's Dean?" Roman asked changing the subject.

"He's getting better. They think he's going to wake up soon. Seth wanted to make sure someone was awake to watch Dean at all times, so he was up all night, went to sleep about an hour ago."

"That dude's hardcore." Both men laughed.

"That's one way of putting it." AJ replied. "Do you want a coffee?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Okay, could you watch Dean whilst I get one for myself?"

"Of course." Roman smiled.

"Thanks." AJ left the room and sighed in relief. That was an awkward conversation. He was glad that Roman hadn't beaten him up yet, he knew how much the Samoan hated him for what he did with Dean. They were all playing friendly for the time being. Seth would probably stop talking to AJ the moment Dean woke up.

Seth awoke at 1pm, just in time for AJ to leave. He was still tired but he wasn't gonna leave Dean on his own. The room was silent with just the two men. Seth felt himself falling asleep but jumped back awake when he heard someone groaning. He thought he was in here alone. Who was in here with him? Seth looked around the room to see that it was just him and Dean. The noise came again, this time followed by a cough. Seth then realized that it was Dean who was making the noises.

Dean started to cough violently, his face turning red as he chocked. Seth panicked and pressed the emergency button realizing that Dean still had the feeding tube down his throat.

Doctor Rann rushed in along with two nurses. This time they knew it wasn't a drill. Doctor Rann removed the tube from Dean's throat and placed an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. Dean began to calm down and opened his eyes. He looked confused at first and then he looked scared. Seth ran over to Dean's side and held his hand.

Dean looked at Seth and the panic left his eyes.

"Dean?" A single tear made its way down Seth's face. "It's okay baby, you're safe." Dean looked as if he wanted to speak but didn't have the strength.

"Do you know where you are?" Seth asked. Dean simply shook his head, no. Doctor Rann then saw his chance to step in.

"Mr Ambrose, you are at the Toronto hospital after a suicide attempt. Do you remember anything from before you woke up?" Doctor Rann asked. Dean shook his head again. He had no clue what was going on. "I suggest you get some rest Mr Ambrose. We can talk about everything in the morning, okay?" Doctor Rann suggested, leaving the room. Dean nodded this time, he wanted to know what was going on but he was too exhausted to co-operate with other people.

Seth got onto the hospital bed and gave Dean a hug, sobbing into his chest.

"I love you so much." Seth cried.

"I-I lo-love you too." Dean replied weakly, his voice breaking between words. He fell asleep shortly after, due to the overwhelming event that had just took place.

Seth dialed Roman's number as soon as Dean fell asleep. He needed to let him know the news.

"Hello?" Roman greeted.

"Roman, he's - Dean, he's awake." Seth cried still shook up over everything.

"Really? That's great!"

"Yeah. Could you tell AJ?"

"Sure." Roman replied. "Is Dean okay after waking up?"

"He's a bit confused as to what's happening. He doesn't remember doing anything. He's sleeping now, he looked tired."

"He's so lazy, he just spent a week sleeping and he's still tired." Roman laughed trying to make a joke.

"Shut up." Seth laughed back.

"How are you after what happened?" Roman asked.

"I'm good, just a bit overwhelmed."

"I'm not surprised. Anyway, you go get some rest and I'll tell AJ."

"Okay, thank you."

"No problem." Roman hung up and told AJ the news. The older man literally ran to his car in order to get to the hospital.

For the first time in a long time, Seth was able to sleep without worrying about Dean. He was okay. He was awake. Seth couldn't have asked for anything more.


	25. Extinguish the flame - Part 25

Sunday morning arrived and Dean was the first to wake. He was still confused as to what had happened. He remembers getting ready for his match at Roadblock but everything after that was a blur. For some reason he was in a hospital. He wondered whether something had happened to him during the match, but it took a lot to take him down so he knew that couldn't be what had happened. The doctor had said something about a suicide attempt but Dean didn't remember that. 

Seth had looked worried when Dean woke up. He had tears falling from his eyes and he looked exhausted. Dean just hoped he wasn't the cause for all of Seth's pain.

To the left of the room Dean saw AJ fast asleep by the window, his face glowing in the morning sun. Why was he here? They had broken up. He had no reason to be here.

The sun was almost fully risen into the sky. Dean knew it was getting close to lunchtime and he was hungry. He didn't want to wake up Seth but he was desperate for something to eat and he knew he didn't have the strength to get something himself. Dean reached over to his boyfriend's body and gave him a nudge hoping that would be enough to wake him, but it wasn't. Dean really didn't want to shout. He wasn't able to raise his voice after not using it for so long, so he waited for someone to appear.

After 20 minutes of waiting a middle aged looking man with a clipboard entered the room. Dean wasn't sure who he was but he looked like a doctor.

"Good morning Mr Ambrose." The doctor smiled. "I'm Doctor Rann and I've been looking after you for the past seven days."

"S-seven?" Dean croaked out in surprise, his voice barley a whisper.

"Yes, one whole week you've been here."

"W-what hap-pened?" The blonde man was still getting use to using his voice.

"Well, last Saturday night you were rushed here by that young man over there." Doctor Rann pointed towards AJ as he spoke. "You weren't breathing and when I first saw you I thought you were dead. You had overdosed on alcohol and sleeping pills and your organs were failing. It took us a while to get you stabilized and you were in the Intensive Care unit for five days. Everyone was worried for you."

Dean was shocked by what had happened. Did he really try to kill himself again? How could he be so cruel to Seth? 

"Oh." Dean simply said in reply to the doctor.

"Yes, oh. Also Mr Ambrose, were you aware that you were very undernourished?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you weren't getting enough nutrients. The most common reason for that is by starving yourself. We kind of assumed that you inflicted it on yourself because of why you were in here in the first place and then Mr Rollins confirmed it for us. Would you like to arrange to get some help once you leave the hospital?" Doctor Rann asked.

"Uh, I- no. I'll think about it." Dean stuttered.

"Okay, well please consider it. I don't want to see you back here again for not taking care of your body." Doctor Rann sighed. "Now, is there anything I can get you?"

"Could I have a glass of water please? And something to eat?"

"Of course. Any allergies?" Dean shook his head, no. "Alright, I'll be back in a moment."

"Thanks."

Doctor Rann returned with a bottle of water and a ham sandwich. Dean ate it gratefully and spent an hour watching TV, before Seth woke up. 

"Hey." Seth smiled. "How long have you been up?"

"About two hours." Dean shrugged.

"How you feeling?"

"A bit sick."

Seth got up out of his chair and made his way over to Dean's bed where he lay next to the weak man.

"I'm so happy you're awake." Seth side wrapping his arms around Dean. "I thought I had lost you."

"Don't worry. I'm still here."

"I know but you almost died." Seth started to cry.

"Maybe I did almost die, but I'm here right now aren't I?"

"Yeah, I love you."

"I love you too." Dean tried to work up the courage to talk about AJ, but he thought it would be a touchy subject right now so he decided not to say anything.

The two men lay together for a few hours and watched TV. Seth realized that it was getting quite late in the day and AJ needed to get up to go to work. Seth walked over to the sleeping man and awoke him from his slumber. AJ was in a rush to leave for work so luckily for Dean, he didn't speak. Once he was gone Dean decided to ask Seth about what had happened while he was in the coma.

"So what happened? Are you two friends?"

"Uh, I wouldn't say we're the best of friends but we needed each other to get through this. He's a good man but I don't think I could be friends with him after what he did." Seth answered uncomfortably.

"But you're still with me so why can't you be friends with him?"

"I don't know. We'll talk about this later, okay? It's too much at the moment." Seth sighed.

"Okay." Dean felt awkward. "I'm going to sleep."

"Okay, sweet dreams."

__________

Dean awoke Sunday afternoon to an empty room. It felt nice to finally be alone. After waking up from the coma he felt very overwhelmed by Seth. He understands that Seth was worried for Dean, but he didn't have to make a big deal out of it. It's not like anyone would have cared if Dean had died.

Dean realized that WrestleMania 32 was only two weeks away. He knew he wouldn't be able to, but he really wanted to compete in his match against Brock Lesnar. He hoped that he could have a word with Triple H and discuss his future career. Wrestling was his life but lately he hadn't been enjoying it all that much. It was now a chore, something he had to do. He wanted it to be a fun activity with his friends instead of a job.

Seth walked into the room, shortly after Dean awoke, with two coffees and a stray Roman.

"Hey man." Roman smiled.

"Hey." Dean croaked, exhausted from his previous thoughts.

"How you feeling?" 

"Good, I guess." Dean sighed. He was sick of hearing that question.

"Hunter wants to see you. I told him to wait until tomorrow so that you didn't feel too overcrowded. I think he wants to talk about Mania." Roman said sipping his coffee.

"I wanna take part in Mania." Dean sighed.

"Hell no! That is not happening." Seth butted in.

"I really want to though. I just think it would be great to have my last match on the biggest stage of them all."

"What do you mean your last match?" Seth looked confused.

"I don't know. I just don't wanna wrestle anymore." Dean sighed.

"Really? Wrestling is your life, man." Seth was shocked.

"That's what I thought, but things change." Dean looked like he had nothing to live for. It looked like he had given up on life and that look gave Roman the chills. He had never seen his friend so vulnerable.

Seth went over to Dean and gave him a hug. Dean burst out into violent sobs and clung onto Seth's shirt. He was so desperate for love. He was fed up of everything.

Roman realized how messed up the situation was. Dean who had grown up loving wrestling and having such a huge passion for the sport, was now questioning everything about his time in WWE. He no longer wanted to wrestle. He had wanted to wrestle his entire life, so why all of a sudden did he want to quit? Why was he giving up? There was something brewing deep in the mind of the Lunatic. Something no sane person would ever imagine thinking about.

Even though he was still breathing, Dean Ambrose was no longer alive.


	26. Coming home - Part 26

Monday was even worse for Dean. He had been up all night contemplating whether or not he actually wanted to quit WWE. He wanted to buy a house and get married to Seth and live his dream, but he knew once Seth's knee had recovered he would be back on the road and Dean would be alone. The only way he could always be with Seth was if he kept his job, which is something he really didn't want to do.

Triple H and Stephanie were going to be visiting Dean sometime today and he hoped that they could talk about everything going on in his head and sort something out. He was anxious at what they would think of his recent non-interest in the company, but he needed to tell them and get the weight off of his shoulders.

According to Seth, AJ had always been at the hospital with him whenever he wasn't at work, but last night he didn't come back. Both men were worried for him. He must have been very overwhelmed, watching the person you love go through so much pain and not being able to comfort them wasn't nice.

At noon Triple H and Stephanie made their appearance. Both had smiles on their faces.

"Hey, Dean. How you feeling?" Hunter asked sitting next to Dean's bed.

"Good, I guess." Dean tried to smile.

"You had us worried." Stephanie chimed in. "At one point we thought you were a goner."

"Yeah." Dean laughed. The room was quiet until Seth spoke up.

"Dean told me that he wanted WrestleMania 32 to be his last match." 

"Really?" Both Hunter and Steph looked surprised.

"Yeah, I kinda wanna stop wrestling." Dean sighed awkwardly. Trust Seth to say that as soon as there was a gap of silence.

"Well, we can organize a meeting if you want to talk about that. I don't think the hospital is the best place for business." Hunter laughed.

"That would be great thanks."

"Do you know when you're getting out of the hospital?"

"Um, no not yet."

"Well, I'll arrange it for Friday afternoon, but if you're still in the hospital then just give me a call and we can reschedule it."

"Ok that's great, thanks." Dean smiled a genuine smile and it was at that moment when Seth actually realized that Dean was serious. He really wanted to quit WWE.

Triple H and Stephanie left for RAW. Dean was excited to watch the show tonight. Seth had caught him up on some things that had happened and it sounded pretty good.

Roman started RAW off with a very heated conversation between Stephanie and himself. Dean and Seth were watching from the hospital and cheering him on.

Later on in the show Roman attacked Triple H as he was getting into his car to leave. Dean was loving the story-line between the two men and he couldn't wait to see their match at WrestleMania. It was weird watching the wrestling whilst he was in bed. Usually Dean watched it on the monitors in the gorilla at work.

Dean was shocked to see AJ on the show. He looked angry at Jericho and Dean wondered how their friendship had ended. He had a lot to catch up on.

After RAW AJ booked himself into a hotel for the night. He didn't want to face Dean. He knew that Dean didn't want to see him. AJ had done his part and now it was his time to leave.

Tuesday was a bit different than usual. Dean had, had a conversation with Doctor Rann about therapy and eventually agreed to get some help. Doctor Rann signed Dean up to see a therapist in Iowa for next week. In all honesty Dean really didn't want to talk about his problems, but he knew that Seth wanted him to do it.

Seth also wanted to sort things out between him, Dean and AJ. He was fed up of not knowing what the two were up to, so he called AJ and asked him to come to the hospital. Once he arrived all three men sat with each other and stayed silent for a while.

"So, what happened between you guys?" Seth asked awkwardly. Dean and AJ both looked at each other not knowing what to say.

"Uh, we just kinda got together." AJ murmured, wishing this conversation would end quickly.

"Yeah I guessed that, but what did you do?" Seth got no answer. "Did you kiss?" Both of the guilty men nodded their heads, yes. Seth was dreading the answer to his next question.

"Did you have sex?"

"Seth this is stu-" 

"Don't try to get out of this Dean, I have a right to know! Now did you have sex with him?" Seth looked furious and Dean went silent.

"Yes." AJ whispered, causing Seth to cry. "I-I, I'm sorry Seth."

"It's okay. Could you leave please?" 

"Uh, yeah. Sorry." AJ left the hospital and started to cry. He wanted to tell Seth that if he could take back what he did with Dean then he would, but he didn't want to lie anymore to the two-toned man.

Seth and Dean were left in silence. So many thoughts were flying through Seth's head. How could he ever trust Dean again? Why did this have to happen? Dean however thought of nothing but the fact that his boyfriend was most likely about to break up with him. It broke his heart.

"I'm gonna go." Seth said emotionless.

"O-okay." Dean whispered, holding back tears.

"See you tomorrow." Seth left without saying an 'I love you' to Dean. 

Dean felt like he was being stabbed in the heart, he knew Seth was going to break up with him and he wished that he would hurry up and get it over with. Dean didn't know how to deal with this sort of pain.

Dean was feeling the same pain on Wednesday as the night before. Seth hadn't returned to the hospital yet and that worried Dean even more. What if Seth just left him and stopped talking to him altogether. He had already lost AJ, he didn't want to lose Seth as well because of the stupid things he had done. He couldn't deal with all the heart break. Why was he doing this to himself? He should just forget about both men and move on with his life.

Hospitals made Dean anxious. They were always bad news, which didn't help to comfort the weak man in the position he was currently in.

He had a few visitors come and go, one being Kevin Owens who bought him a t-shirt with Ric Flair's face on. A random but kind gesture from the man.

Doctor Rann talked to Dean about a few medical things. He had to take certain medication at specific points of each day. The doctor suggested that Dean made himself a time table, as there was a lot of medication to take, so he gave him a piece of paper, a pen and a list of what he had to take and when he had to take it. The internal injuries still hadn't healed properly which is why Dean had so many prescriptions.

Dean was trying to figure out how to make a time table when Seth arrived. The room was silent and there was tension in the air.

"Hey." Seth said walking into the room and sitting next to Dean on his bed.

"Hey." Dean replied.

"What're you doing?"

"Trying to make a time table for my medication, but its really confusing." Dean sighed throwing the pen on the bed and lying his head back on the pillow.

"Do you want some help?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind." Seth grabbed the pen and looked at the sheet that had Dean's prescriptions written on it. 

"Whoa, you have a lot of medication."

"I know."

Seth spent an hour planning out a time table for the next two months. It was extremely easy to read and understand. Dean was grateful for that.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Seth looked tense. "So, how are you feeling?"

"Good. Better than yesterday."

"That's good. Improvement and stuff."

"Yeah." Dean sighed.

"Do you want anything to drink or eat?" Seth asked trying to change the subject.

"Nah, I had something before you got here."

"Oh, okay. Maybe I should go."

"No! Don't go Seth, please don't leave me." Dean's voice showed desperation. His eyes begging Seth to stay. "I love you." He cried.

"I love you too." Seth pulled the covers over both men and snuggled up into Dean's chest. "Do you wanna watch some TV?"

"Yeah." Dean smiled. He was happy to be holding Seth. He still didn't know where their relationship stood, but he was enjoying the moment whilst he still could.

The rest of the night went smoothly and both men fell asleep in each others arms.

Thursday arrived and Dean was excited to say the least. He was being discharged from hospital today and he couldn't wait to get out of this place.

It took a few hours to finally get out of the hospital. Both Dean and Seth got emotional saying goodbye to Doctor Rann, but they were happy to finally be free. Seth had booked a hotel room for them to stay in for the night, so that they didn't have to rush to an airport as soon as they left the hospital. They would be flying over to Iowa tomorrow morning.

Thursday was Roman's day off and he decided to join his two friends at the hotel. The three men had a guys night in with a few movies and a couple of beers. It felt just like the old days when they were all in the Shield.

After a night packed with fun and laughter Dean fell asleep on the sofa. Seth carried him over to the bed and tucked him in, placing a kiss on his forehead. He then said goodbye to Roman, who had booked a separate hotel room, and joined Dean in bed. Today had been a good day but Seth wasn't sure what tomorrow would bring. 

Friday morning eventually arrived and both men were rushing to make sure all their stuff was packed. The flight took 8 hours to get from Toronto to Iowa, but once they were home they realized that it was all worth it.

Dean got a phone call from Hunter telling him that he would call him the next day to arrange Dean's WrestleMania match and talk about his career. Dean was grateful that Hunter was supportive of his career choices.

Dean and Seth had a lazy day together. Their relationship still wasn't as strong as what it had once been, but Dean thought the two of them were making progress. Only time could tell what would happen to the two men.


	27. Don't break my heart - Part 27

Everything was starting to get back to normal by Saturday morning. Dean and Seth had been invited to Seth's mum's and dad's house for Easter and would be staying Saturday night and Sunday night. Dean had only met Mr and Mrs Rollins once before and was nervous about seeing her again. He didn't even know if Seth had told her about their relationship. 

On the car drive there Dean got a call from Hunter. They discussed when Dean would return to the company and how long he would stay. After a twenty minute conversation they decided that Dean would wrestle his match at WrestleMania 32 and quit the company on the same night. His contract was set to expire in a month anyway, so it wasn't too much bother for the boss.

Dean explained everything to Seth before they got to Mr and Mrs Rollins' house and he seemed rather un-interested in what Dean had to say. That put a damper on Dean's mood.

Once they arrived at Seth's parent's house they were both pulled in to a tight hug from Mrs Rollins.

"Oh boys, it's so nice to see you both." Mrs Rollins smiled hugging them even tighter.

"Mum, you're gonna kill us." Seth groaned as he struggled to breathe under his mums tight embrace.

"Sorry Sethie, How're you Dean? Feeling any better?"

"Yes I'm feeling a lot better, Mrs Rollins." Dean smiled awkwardly.

"Well that's good, call me Mary."

Mary lead the two men into the living room where all of Seth's closest family were sat. His Step-dad (Mr Rollins) gave Seth a huge welcoming hug. Dean felt extremely out of place and smiled at everyone who looked at him. Mary knew that he was finding it hard so she placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Dean could you help me out in the kitchen?" Mary smiled, taking Dean's hand and pulling him out of the crowded room. "I thought you could do with a break. I know you get a bit nervous around new people. Seth was telling me about you over the phone the other night."

"Thank you, you're very kind."

"Well, there's no reason for me not to be. You're a good man Dean and Seth thinks the world of you."

"Really?" Dean was surprised to hear that. Seth hadn't exactly been showing signs of liking Dean lately. "He's kinda been distant from me lately. Something happened and I think he wants to break up with me." Dean struggled to hold in his tears.

"I know what happened. It was bad and it hurt Seth, but he still loves you. I promise you that he'll be with you forever." Mary smiled. "Now, do you think you're ready to face the rest of the family?"

"Yeah." Dean sighed. "As long as their ready to face me."

When Dean walked into the living room for the second time everyone looked at him for a few seconds, before returning to what they were previously doing. Dean expected Seth to sit near him or talk to him, since Seth knew more than anyone how much Dean hated these situations, but instead the two-toned man ignored the others presence. Mary gave Dean a sympathetic smile before heading back out to the kitchen.

Dean felt extremely self-conscious. People kept staring at him and it made him feel like an exhibit at the zoo. He could feel their eyes staring at the fat on his thighs and the chub that hung off his stomach. The one thing he hated most about being at the hospital was the fact that they fed him so much. He had put at least a stone on, which was not good.

They had been there for an hour and Seth still didn't acknowledge Dean's presence. Dean heard a little boy talking to Seth.

"Uncle Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"Is that man your boyfriend?" The little boy asked, pointing at Dean. Seth looked over into Dean's eyes before looking back at the young boy.

"No. He's just a friend."

Dean's heart broke as soon as the words escaped his lover's mouth. The look Seth had gave him before he said those horrible words, showed that he meant it. Seth had just broken up with Dean right there and then. The tears started to fall almost instantly and Dean had to excuse himself from the room.

Once he had got to the bathroom and locked the door, he slid down to the floor and started to sob. How could Seth be so cruel? Why did he have to do that in front of his family? He knew that Dean didn't deal with embarrassment well. Dean didn't want to be in this house any longer, so he called for a taxi and waited out the front of the house.

Mary saw Dean leave the house and followed him to the end of the drive.

"Hey Dean, are you okay?" Dean was startled by the sudden voice and wiped away his tears as quickly as possible.

"Y-yeah I'm fine thanks." 

"Was it getting a bit too much in there?"

"You could say that. I'm going home."

"Why? What happened?" Mary sounded concerned.

"Nothing important. I guess I was right about Seth all along." Dean smiled trying to hide his sadness.

"What do you mean? He didn't- He did didn't he?"

"Yeah."

Mary gave Dean a long embrace. She was furious to know that her son had broken up with Dean in the way that he had. The taxi arrived within a few minutes.

"Well, thank you for being so kind. I probably won't see you again so, good bye." Dean smiled, getting into the taxi with tears streaming his face.

"Stay safe okay? And of course you'll see me again. I like you too much." Mary laughed. "Goodbye Dean."

"Goodbye Mary."

The taxi drove Dean to Seth's house, where he packed up his stuff and got another taxi to the airport. He flew over to Florida, which took 15 hours and caught another taxi over to Roman's house. It was now 3am on Sunday morning and Dean hoped that he didn't annoy Roman too much by turning up at this time. He knocked on the door and waited for a reply. He heard footsteps from inside the house and then he heard the door open.

"Dean? What're you doing here?" Roman asked. The sudden realization as to why he was actually here overwhelmed him and he burst out into tears on Roman's doorstep.

"Hey, calm down." Roman soothed, leading Dean into his house and onto the sofa. "What's wrong?"

"S-seth bro-oke up w-with me." Dean sobbed. Roman hugged his friend hoping it would help in some way to make him feel better.

"Really? Why?" Roman was shocked to say the least.

"I-I don't know b-but I knew it was gonna happen eventually."

"I thought you two were okay now. Did he just change his mind?"

"I guess, but he hasn't been the same since Tuesday when we talked about something. Since then he's been distant and hasn't really spoke to me apart from Thursday because you were there. And he took me to his parents house and broke up with me in front of his family."

"What? That's not right. Seth isn't like that." Roman couldn't believe how cruel Seth had been. Why would he do that in front of his family?

"He's been like that for the past week or so. I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with AJ." Dean sniffed.

"He seemed to be fine with the AJ situation the last time I saw him. I thought he would just forget about it and stay with you."

"I don't know what to do. I lost my boyfriend, I lost my friend, I don't have a job after next Sunday, I've got no where to live-" Dean was getting himself worked up.

"You can live here. I'm your friend, I promise that I will take care of you during this hard time. And you don't need a job at the moment. You've got loads of money saved up. You're set for life." Roman laughed trying to cheer up his friend.

"Thanks. I'm sorry for all the times I've been a dick to you. You didn't deserve that." 

"Well, we're kind of even on that. Remember when I almost broke your nose?"

"Oh yeah." Dean smiled. "You scared me so much." Both men laughed, happy to be in each others company.

"Anyway, we should get to bed. You know where the spare room is."

"Yeah. Goodnight Rome and thanks for everything."

"No need to thank me. That's what friends are for. Sweet dreams."

Getting into bed, Dean realized that Seth Rollins was no longer his boyfriend. He had torn apart their love for one another and it hurt Dean a lot. Maybe AJ experienced the same pain, when Dean broke up with him. He should apologies to his friend at some point.

__________

Dean called AJ as soon as he woke up on Sunday morning.

"Hello?" AJ greeted.

"Hey AJ, it's Dean. I just wanted to apologies for how I acted towards you when we broke up. I was a bit mean."

"Oh uh, that's okay." AJ didn't know what to say.

"No it's not okay. I just had my heart broken by someone in one of the most horrible ways possible and I now know how painful it is. I'm sorry you had to go through that because of me. I was a dick and I'm sorry." Dean sighed.

"Well, thank you for the apology. Are we friends?"

"Of course we are. I'm never getting rid of you." Dean laughed. 

"You got that right! So... who broke your heart?" AJ asked awkwardly.

"Seth."

"I thought so. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Dean sighed.

"I helps to talk. Believe me. I've been there."

"Okay." The two men spent an hour going over everything. Before they said goodbye, they decided to meet up with each other on Thursday.

Dean was happy that he had finally sorted things out with AJ, but he was scared to see what the future would hold for him and Seth. He hoped that Seth could explain why he broke up with Dean in front of everyone, but he knew that he would probably never see his ex-lover again. Dean wanted to travel the world once he left WWE. He was planning on doing it with Seth, but that idea went as quickly as it came. Dean also hoped to settle down with someone and have a little family. He just wasn't sure who he wanted to do that with.


	28. Something for me, Something for you - Part 28

Roman served up a big breakfast for Dean on Sunday morning. He wanted to make sure Dean had enough food to keep him comforted in his troubled times. Roman knew that Dean was struggling with a few things at the moment and he wanted to help him. He hadn't been that good of a friend lately and he wanted to make up for it.

Dean stumbled downstairs, still happy that he had made up with AJ, and headed straight for the kitchen. He was shocked to see all of the food that Roman had made. It looked so nice, but he knew it wouldn't be good for his figure.

"Morning." Roman smiled, handing Dean an empty plate. "Help yourself."

"Rome, I-I why did you make all of this?" Dean had to find a way out of this.

"Well, I thought you could do with a nice meal to make you feel better. You were pretty upset last night so I thought I would try and cheer you up a bit."

"Dude, this is a lot. I don't think I can eat all of this."

"You don't have to eat all of it. You gotta leave some for me." The Samoan laughed. 

"Okay, but I feel sick so I can't eat too much."

"You probably feel sick because you're hungry. When was the last time you ate?"

"Saturday morning." Dean started to worry. There was no way out of this. He had to eat something to make Roman happy.

"That was 24 hours ago. You better fill your plate and get some food down your throat."

Both men sat at the table with their plates full. Roman had already started to stuff his meal down his throat, but Dean was taking his time. He knew that if he ate too fast it would make him sick, and he didn't want that right now. He was too tired.

It took half an hour for Dean to finish his breakfast. Roman had already eaten his and washed his plate. Dean felt a bit nauseous but managed to hold his food down.

The two men spent the rest of Sunday watching old films and joking around with each other. Roman had to leave at 5pm for the live house show, but he told Dean to stay at his house. He didn't want his friend to feel unwelcome. 

After the live show, Roman arrived home to find Dean asleep on the sofa. Jet-lag, the only bad thing about flying. Roman carried Dean up to the spare room and tucked him into bed, before he got into his own and fell asleep.

Monday morning was different for Dean. Roman was at the gym all morning and then he was filming RAW. The day had gone quick for Dean, as he had slept through most of it, but he felt out of place without Roman there. He was in someones house when the owner wasn't there. It felt weird, but Dean didn't mind it too much. The thing that bothered him the most was the loneliness, but that disappeared as soon as RAW came on the TV.

The show was all over the place and it was kind of humorous for Dean. Watching Roman being held back by all the wrestlers was quite entertaining, especially when Roman managed to power through them and attack Triple H.

Dean had fell asleep once again before Roman got home. Roman checked Dean's medicine timetable and saw that he had missed out one of his pills. He felt bad, but he knew he had to wake up Dean and get him to take the tablet.

"Dean." Roman nudged his friend gently and then roughly when Dean didn't wake.

"What?" Dean groaned angrily.

"You missed out one of your pills."

"Oh well. Let me sleep."

"No, get your ass up and take your tablet. You need to recover your body."

"Fine." Dean got out of bed looking disorientated. He managed to get to the bathroom, with Roman close behind him, and take his tablet.

"I don't know how you can take so many tablets." Roman laughed in disbelief.

"It's a lot of effort, but it repairs my organs so I guess it's important that I take them. At least that's what the doctor said." Dean shrugged.

"You really do not care about your well being do you?" Roman laughed once again.

"No." Dean sighed. "If it was up to me, I would have drowned in that bathtub a long time ago. I can't believe you stopped me. And then AJ stopped me with the sleeping pills. I'm not getting much luck lately."

"Dean, do you really feel that bad?"

"Yeah." Dean sighed again. "I'm tired."

"You should go to bed and get some rest. You need it, man."

"Okay, see you in the morning."

"Goodnight."

Dean made his way to the guest bedroom. When Roman checked on him ten minutes later he was fast asleep. Roman checked his phone before he went to bed, to see that he had a text from Seth.

'Hey, have you heard from Dean?'

'What's it to you?'

Roman was mad at Seth for what he did to Dean, and he was going to make sure Seth knew how much he had screwed up.

'He disappeared the other day. I just want to make sure he's okay. He won't answer his phone.'

'Well, that's your fault.'

'How's it my fault?'

'You broke his heart. Found him crying on my doorstep at 3am the other morning.'

'Really? How did I break his heart? What're you on about?'

'It's too late right now. I'll talk to Dean in the morning and ask if he wants to talk to you.'

'Okay, thanks.'

Roman made his way to bed, checking once again on Dean. He was worried for his friend. He had been through a lot lately. Roman didn't want Dean to do anything stupid.

Tuesday morning arrived and Dean was the first to wake. He checked his phone to see that he had fifteenth missed calls from Seth. He didn't want to dwell on the past so he turned off his phone and headed downstairs. Roman was still asleep, so Dean decided to watch some TV and pass some time. After an hour of watching TV, the Samoan awoke.

"Morning Dean."

"Morning Rome."

"Sleep well?" 

"Yeah, you?"

"Not too bad. Something at the back of my mind kept buggin' me though." Roman stated.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Dean asked.

"Seth text me last night. Said he was confused as to why you left his parents house. He wanted to know if I had seen you."

"Wait, what? How does he not know why I left? That makes no sense."

"I know. I've got not clue what he's playing at. I told him I would talk to you and ask you if you would talk to him." Roman sighed.

"I'm not talking to him." Dean grunted.

"Maybe you should. Just to clear things up and make sure he knows it's over."

"Yeah, I guess I should. I'll do it later. I'm not in the mood right now."

"Fair enough. Want some breakfast?"

__________

The rest of Tuesday went pretty well. Dean and Roman spent some time together practicing some wrestling moves and helping Dean get into better shape for WrestleMania. It felt good to finally be doing something active. Dean was sick and tired of lying down and doing nothing all the time.

Roman had to leave for the Smackdown taping and Dean thought he would call Seth whilst his friend was gone. He wanted to get it out of the way. Seth picked up on the first ring.

"Hello? Dean?" Seth greeted.

"Hey, what's up with you?" Dean wasn't going to play nice.

"Why'd you leave?" Seth asked.

"Because you fucking broke up with me you dick!"

"What are you talking about?" Both men were angry.

"You told that kid that we were 'just friends' and you've been distant from me all week."

"I told him that because I didn't want him to think I was gay. I still love you. I didn't mean to upset you, Dean."

"So now you're embarrassed about being gay? Well, boo-fucking-hoo for Seth Rollins! Get your fucking act together."

"Dean, just shut up for one sec-"

"No, you shut up. What's the point in us anymore? We were over before we even started so don't bother with me. You're better off without me anyway." Dean sighed, exhausted from everything.

"Stop thinking so low of yourself. You know I love you and I want us to work out. I'm sorry for how I've been lately, okay? It wasn't right for me to treat you like that. I was just upset over you and AJ. I didn't have time to process it in the hospital and it got the better of me. I'm sorry Dean, I love you." Seth sighed. Both men were quite.

"I love you too, but I don't think we should be together."

"Dean, please I-"

"No. Our relationship is toxic. We're ruining each other. I can't do thins anymore Seth. We're done." Dean cried.

"Please don't do this Dean, I love you please, give me a second chance." Seth begged.

"I'm not good for you Seth, I'm sorry." Dean hung up.

The conversation circled Dean's mind. The emptiness of the house taunted him as he sat in silence. Did he really just break up with Seth? What was wrong with him?

Roman arrived home to find Dean sat on the sofa staring into space. The younger man didn't even notice Roman as he sat down next to him.

"Dean?" Roman tried to get his friends attention. "Are you alright?"

"Not really." Dean whispered, as a tear made its way down his cheek.

"What's wrong?" Roman asked.

"I talked to Seth."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Our relationship" Both men stopped talking for a few minutes until Dean decided to break the silence. "I ended it." He paused. "For good."

Roman was shocked that Dean had managed to break up with Seth. He knew it had broke his friend's heart in the process.

"I'm going to bed." Dean announced as he stood up and went upstairs.

Roman wasn't sure how to react to the situation, so he stayed silent. He just hoped that Dean was happy with his decision and would move on with his life.


	29. The Road To WrestleMania - Part 29

Seth hadn't stopped texting Dean all night. He knew that Dean wouldn't reply, but he didn't know what else to do. He honestly didn't mean to upset his boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. He didn't realize how hurt Dean would be by the one simple lie Seth had told his cousin. He didn't even know the Dean could here them talking.

Seth's mum had called Seth into the kitchen after the event and told him off for 'letting such a good man go.' He had no clue what she was talking about.

The phone call last night broke Seth's heart. Had he really hurt Dean that much? He just wished he could turn back time and erase every word he had said on that terrible day. Maybe if he hadn't of said those things, Dean would be snuggled up in his arms right now, instead of half way around the country. Why did he have to lie about Dean and his relationship?

Dean was ignoring the texts. There were over 50 and he honestly didn't care about any of them. He knew for a fact that they were all a bunch of rubbish. Dean eventually turned off his phone and put it in his gym bag. Today he was going to the gym with Roman. It was his first time going there since before being in the hospital and he couldn't wait to get in a good workout.

On the drive there, the two men listened to some music on the radio and talked about how excited they were for WrestleMania.

"Man, I can't wait to see you hold the gold again." Dean smiled.

"Me too. I've been waiting too long." Both men laughed. "So, you feeling better today?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dean sighed. "Seth wouldn't stop texting me so I turned off my phone."

"What was he texting you about?"

"I don't know. I stopped reading after the second one. There's been about a hundred since then."

"He's desperate." Roman laughed. "I guess he regretted leaving a sex god like you." That remark caused Dean to laugh.

"Shut up." Dean chuckled.

"Alright, we're here."

Both men spent the next two hours doing an extreme workout. It was tiring for Dean especially, but he manged to power through it. 

"Do you wanna go on the weights again?" Roman asked after a quick break.

"Yeah, gimme a second. My side hurts." Dean panted.

"Is it a stitch or is it like one of your organs or something?"

"I think it's just a stitch. It doesn't hurt too bad."

"That's good then. Take as much time out as you need and drink a lot of water. It'll help."

"Thanks man. I'll be over in a minute."

Dean managed to hit the weights for a few minutes before the pain started again. Roman suggested that he did some stretches, but it didn't help. They decided to head home after that, as Roman knew Dean couldn't do anything active in the condition that he was in and it wouldn't be fair if he made him watch.

They had some lunch when they got home, both men needed it. Roman left for the live house show at 4pm, leaving Dean alone. Dean turned on his phone to see that Seth hadn't sent him a text for over an hour. The last text he had sent said: 'I love you.'

Dean turned his phone back off as soon as he saw that message. He put a movie on and watched it until he fell asleep. It had been a long day.

On Thursday morning Dean found himself sitting in an old, quiet cafe with AJ. The two men had met up for breakfast. Dean felt comfortable in the other mans company, but he knew it wasn't in the way that he use to feel. Him and AJ were friends and it was going to stay that way. Dean still loved the older man in a strange way, but he didn't want to date AJ. They just had a close friendship.

"So, a little birdy told me that WrestleMania is gonna be your last match." AJ said once they had finished their breakfast.

"Yeah. I just don't wanna wrestle anymore." Dean replied.

"What do you plan on doing after?"

"Probably gonna travel the world for a bit and just see where life takes me." 

"You travelling on your own?" AJ asked.

"Yeah, it looks that way."

"What about Seth?"

"Oh, we're not together anymore." Dean was shocked by how casually he had said that.

"What? Since when?"

"Saturday."

"Damn man, I thought you two were gonna rule the world." AJ laughed, still in disbelief.

"We never really worked out that well. We were always apart and we argued a lot. And plus, I cheated on him with you so it wasn't the best relationship." Dean laughed.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that."

"No problem. It was for the best. I'd like to meet up with him someday and maybe become friends or something. I still love him, but- I don't know." Dean sighed. "There's too much going on at the moment."

"You're telling me."

The two men changed the subject and talked to one another for hours on end. It wasn't until Dean got a phone call from Roman, asking him where he was that he realized what time it was.

"I should probably get going. Poor Roman's home alone." Dean laughed.

"Alright, it was nice to see you again. Keep in touch, okay?" AJ smiled, giving his friend a hug.

"I will. See you later."

"Bye."

Dean made his way home. It was 3:30pm when he finally got to Roman's house. He had been at the cafe with AJ for four hours. Roman was on his case as soon as he walked through the door.

"Where have you been man? You had me worried."

"Rome, there's no need to worry. I'm a big boy now." Dean laughed. He was in a good mood today. "I was with AJ at the cafe down the road."

"Really?"

"Yes really, we are friends y'know. Friends are allowed to meet up."

"Friends?" Roman raised his eyebrow in a suggestive way.

"We are NOT together, if that's what you're implying. We actually are just friends."

"Alright, I believe you. Do you wanna watch a movie? I'm bored." Roman moaned.

"Fine. Stick something on for us to watch." 

Roman picked out a film and Dean grabbed a few drinks for them to have. In total they ended up watching four films and ordering some pizza. It was pretty much just a lads night in. The four films were San Andreas, Ant-Man, Jurassic World and Terminator Genisys. All four were in Dean's good books.

The two men went to bed after a nice laid back day.

Friday was officially the beginning of the build up to WrestleMania for Dean. One of the biggest shows of them all was only two days away. Dean would be facing Brock Lesnar in a no hold bars, street fight match and he was definitely ready for it. He may of had a few weeks off but that didn't stop the fire burning inside of him. He had to win. 

Roman took his friend to the WWE performance center to practice some of his moves. Dean was doing great. It was almost as if he had never left. The two men had some lunch and then headed to the gym to get in a quick workout before Roman left for work. Luckily, Dean's side no longer hurt.

Dean was ready to face Brock. There was no way he was going to lose this match. It was his match.


	30. Saying 'Goodbye' to the life you leave behind - Part 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of this story, but there will be a sequel. There are some spoilers of WrestleMania 32 in this chapter and also I've changed the results of who won the street fight match. Thank you for all of your support! Enjoy!

The fire inside Dean was burning even hotter when Saturday arrived. There was now only one day until his match with Brock Lesnar. He was ready.

He had been at the gym with Roman for the past hour working out. He felt that both his mind and his body were ready to fight. Only one day. One day and then it was all over. He was more excited to leave the company and go his own way, than he was for WrestleMania.

He had found an inner peace within himself and was ready to do what he had dreamed of doing for years. He wanted to travel the world. He had planned a two year trip for himself, but once he had got called up to the main roster that plan got stuffed into some hotel trash can and was never seen again.

Tonight was the Hall of Fame and everyone was dressing up in fancy suits and dresses. Dean wore a simple black tuxedo without a tie. He didn't do fancy. The night went pretty well overall. Dean sat next to Roman and his family, so he didn't feel uncomfortable at all. AJ was sat in the row in front of him, and being the little jokester he was, Dean kept kicking his friends chair. AJ didn't mind. He found it funny.

Dean enjoyed watching the older wrestlers get inducted into the Hall of Fame. This years inductees had been the people that Dean had grown up watching, well minus Snoop Dog.

There were rumors that Seth was in Dallas and Dean thought that he would be at the Hall of Fame, but luckily he didn't see him. That would be a very awkward situation.

The night went by fast and whilst his friends were out partying and getting drunk, Dean was laying on his hotel bed thinking about WrestleMania. His final match.

__________

The atmosphere in the AT&T arena on Sunday afternoon was a mixture of different emotions. Mostly there was fear for the WWE Superstars and Divas/ Womens division, as they had to perform in front of a record breaking crowd. There was also excitement because it was WrestleMania, one of the biggest shows in sports entertainment. 

There was also a great amount of sadness, especially for Dean. He didn't realize it until now, but this was going to be the last time he saw most of his friends. They would be busy at work and he would be somewhere else in the world. He wouldn't get to experience the pure buzz of electricity from the crowd. This really was the end of his career. 

There was an hour to go before WrestleMania began and Dean felt overwhelmed with love from his co-workers. Of course Roman and AJ were by his side the whole time, but people like Jey and Jimmy Uso, Kevin Owens, William Regal, Triple H and Stephanie surrounded him with love and support for his future. He was very emotional.

One person that stood out to him the most was Sting. He had met the man a few times, but had never had the privilege to talk to him before.

"Hey man." Sting greeted. "How ya feeling?"

"I'm feeling good man, how about yourself?" Dean replied, shocked that Sting was talking to him. A WWE Hall of Famer was talking to him, Dean Ambrose.

"I'm doing fine. I thought I would come over and talk to you since this may be the only chance I get." The older man smiled. "Isn't it weird that we're both two completely different generations, but we're leaving the company at the same time?"

"Whoa, I never really thought about that." Dean smiled. "I guess it is kinda weird, but it's definitely happening."

"You got a lot of life let in ya kid. Use it. I know things have been tough recently, but don't let those things ruin your chance of happiness."

"Thanks man, I appreciate it."

"No problem. Just remember what I said. And good luck in your match." Sting left to make his way to catering. He really enjoyed watching Dean wrestle. He was different from all the others, which was something the WWE needed. It was a shame to see him leave so early.

Dean could hear his blood pumping through out his body. He hadn't prepared himself for the emotion that he was currently feeling. He didn't think he would feel this way.

AJ left Dean with Roman, for his match against Chris Jericho. Dean watched the whole match and was amazed at how good a wrestler AJ was. He had seen his friend in action before, but never this good. Dean was happy that AJ finally got to experience his first WrestleMania. He had worked so hard to get to where he was and he deserved every good thing that came to him.

Dean was upset that his friend lost the match, but AJ didn't care. He was just happy to have a damn good match at WrestleMania with 100,000 people chanting his name. Win or lose, he had a great time.

Dean's match was next and he was nervous. Both Roman and AJ tried to calm him down but he chose to ignore then. He needed to get into the zone. Before he went out he gave both of his friends a big hug. He wanted them to know that he was thankful for everything they had done for him.

The match was electrifying. Dean didn't realize how much the crowd had missed him. No matter how many times the Beast, Brock Lesnar, suplexed him he got back up and fought for his life. It wasn't until the referee raised his hand that Dean realized he had won. His head was spinning and his emotions were all over the place. The crowd was shouting his name and he took it all in as he lay in the middle of the mat, exhausted from everything.

He had done it. He had won. He was free.

Roman and AJ engulfed him in a big hug once he made it backstage. They had enjoyed the match. Dean left to take a shower in the locker room. He needed it.

That was the last time he would ever see that crowd. Their love and passion for Dean had the man in tears as he got out of the shower. He really didn't prepare himself for those last few minutes of being out in the ring, where the crowd chanted his name and said their goodbye. Those were some of the most precious minutes of his life. He would treasure them forever.

The rest of the show flew by. Roman won the gold and was now the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Dean was more than happy for his friend. He deserved it.

It was the end of the show and Dean had packed his bags. He was ready to leave for good. Roman and AJ escorted him to his car and said their goodbyes. AJ had cried at the sight of Dean leaving. He really wasn't ready to say goodbye. Dean had promised to keep in touch, but it wouldn't be the same. AJ needed his friend to be by his side 24/7. He was still in love with him, but it was too late now.

Dean had moved on and left everyone behind. Maybe one day he would return, but for now he's just gonna focus on where life takes him.

The End.


End file.
